Bonfire of the Vanities #128

Welcome to this week's edition of the Bonfire of the Vanities. I'm so excited to be the host as this is one of my favorite blog carnivals. Why? Where else can you make fun of what people have written and they won't get mad at you -- after all, they submitted it for the BONFIRE!!!!

Per my usual carnival policy, I'm listing the posts in the order that I received them. There's a clear benefit to being listed early in a post, and I do this to encourage people to get their entries in early. (No, it doesn't really work, but I keep trying.)

As an introduction to each piece, I'm listing each author's reason for submitting the post to the Bonfire (for those that submitted one) and/or a bit of the post itself as a summary -- so you readers know what to expect before you get to the post. I thought it added an extra bit of creativity to the post (and God knows I need all the help I can get!!)

But enough rambling from me -- you came here for the Bonfire, so let's get it started!

Wood, water, and missed opportunities: "I really wanted to make a profound statement about beauty pageantism in Jamaica, but it didn't come out quite like I expected it to. Definitely my worst post ever."

Stupid Canadian Non-gun Laws: "Eldest Son just called. Seems he had a slight run-in with the law up in Surrey, Canada. Now before you start freaking out, everything is ok & he's not in trouble. Seems like the gun laws in Canada extend to everything that even LOOKS like a gun. It also seems that Eldest was seen in the passenger seat of a car holding a prop for a movie he & some classmates were going to shoot. The prop was the equivalent to a paintball gun, just using air to fire a pellet. The RCMP ended up surrounding the car, cuffing everyone, and confiscating the 'weapon' to destroy it."

Odd Things I Learned Today: "Some things are much, much funnier at 2 a.m. These things weren't even all that funny then. Burn it. Please. Here are the Yak's top reasons for not spending too much time on the Internet (all images safe for work, as always, though you might or might not want to click that first one)."

My Best Tax Move for 2005 - The Kiddie Tax: "If you are an investor with young kids, here's a sure-fire tax savings tip."

Another DUMB*** AWARD wiener: "The only thing missing here is Santa on his knees, getting a bullet in the back of the head execution-style. Happy Holidays!"

Walking Globilisation: "At the time I thought blogging what I was wearing to illustrate globilisation was a good idea...in retrospect its a lame post of the week."

Tagged... I'm It: "I got suckered by a meme... I filled it out and realized why others hate meme's with a passion! Oh well, the damage has been done!"

Two birds with one stone: "The ultra high platform boots though are a definite no-no because the only time guys like looking up at women is when they have a pole between their legs."

Casinoport, Missouri, Municipal Snow Removal Plan Executive Summary: "A public works project description inspired by show tunes."

I TOLD That Guy Not To Mess With It!: "In which I whine about a futzed-up phone system on a Monday morning...."

American Guy?  Family Dad?: "Am I the only one who compares American Dad and Family Guy with this much intensity?"

Democrats to Troops: You are Too Losing: "Alpaca Burger Forum has resigned itself fully to exploiting the only means by which it gets ANY visitors whatsoever: Google bait. Last week's brainstorm was Democrats: Troops are losing. As evidence of it's bonfire-worthiness, it has not brought us any traffic yet."

Beijing Olympic Mascots: Forced Sterilization Footy: "Soccer is popular worldwide, but we don’t think this newest Chinese version is going to have the same success. We predict this demonstration sport won’t outlast the Beijing Olympics; there aren’t many countries that still have forced sterilization and abortion policies."

Hot Student Nurses: "Some might say that Chinese medical professionals have a sexist perspective regarding the capabilities of men and women in the nursing field."

Another Go-Round Against Trackback Spam: "The web site will be funky for a while as Bruce goes through another cycle of anti-spam tuning."

Juvenilia: "That stupid crap we sing as kids?  It's still stupid."

Thanks for visiting the Bonfire of the Vanities! If you want to know a bit more about Free Money Finance, take this quick tour of the blog I wrote when FMF was recognized by Business Week or see my posts of the week for last week.