Last week I posted Money Saving Tip: Keep Your Kids from Hanging on Garage Doors where I told how my son had damaged a neighbor's garage door by hanging on it. I went on to say that I had a friend come over and fix it for free, though I wanted to pay him something as he saved us a bundle of money.
I received a few comments to the post that I wanted to share with everyone. Here's the first:
I do quite a bit of work for friends. I have friends that ask me to come over and do "specialized" work they would normally have to pay for. I generally say "No problem! You get the pizza and beer and I will be over". I think that is pretty fair!
Now in your case -- If I was the garage door guy -- I would appreciate it if you had me over for a cookout or some dinner. Nothing fancy. I always feel funny taking money from friends and most always refuse. I enjoy a dinner or something like it much better. It gives me a chance to visit with my friends and I know they appreciate the help.
I know exactly where this commenter is coming from. I do things for friends all the time for free -- it's just part of friendship. But my case seemed a bit above the call of duty -- the guy came over on a moment's notice in the evening.
Here's another comment:
I definitely agree with Terry on this one. Keep in mind that what may seem extremely complicated to you may be ridiculously simple to someone else. Like when a family member asks me to help their computer run faster, it's usually just a simple matter of removing some junk and running a few tools. They may see it as a small miracle, but I see it as just a small favor. Go with the offer of dinner or a round of golf or a trip to the wax museum or whatever garage door guy likes to do.
As for your son, here's an idea. (WARNING: I AM NOT A PARENT!) While you might feel wrong taking his money from him since the repairs were free, maybe you should do it anyway but then turn around and get him the bike with that money a little later. This way he'll learn his lesson but the punishment will be more instructive than punitive.
Obviously, this commenter doesn't know the joy of a parent "getting even." ;-)
Finally, here's a unique idea:
An idea that popped in my head is why not return a favor to him. Let your son mow his yard, weed the garden, wash his cars, or something similar (while you and friend enjoy the pizza and beer : )). This way he is returning something of "like kind" and hopefully learning a lesson at the same time.
Good points. Thanks to all these commenters for adding great thoughts to the post.
Let me say that I left out a couple pieces of information that may have altered some advice in this case. For instance: 1) While my helper was a "friend", he wasn't a good/close friend. In fact, he's probably closer to an "acquaintance" and 2) his family isn't doing well financially (at least from what we know). As such, here's what we decided to do:
1. My wife took $50 from my son's bank and bought a gift card to the local superstore (grocery plus mass merchant). We felt it was less crass than cash, but was, in effect, the same thing.
2. My son wrote a "thank you" note and mailed the note and card to our friend.
3. My son still has enough to buy his bike, especially since we plan to kick in for it.
4. We discussed the dinner idea, but felt that 1) it wasn't enough and 2) they could use the money more than the dinner.
So, what do you think? Did we do the right thing?
I'm impressed that you made your son accept some of the consequences of hanging on the neighbor's door. *Insert typical rant about parents failing to discipline their kids.*
I enjoy reading posts like these because it gives me ideas about how to interact BabyMoney as he reaches the age to be responsible for money and to experience the financial repercussions of his actions. It sounds like you made a great decision.
Posted by: MoneyDummy | April 10, 2006 at 01:33 PM