What NOT to Do When Asking for a Raise

As most of you know, I'm a big believer in asking for a raise (under certain conditions, of course, but still, many people fulfill these conditions.) As such, I've detailed what you should do when you ask for a raise but there are also things you shouldn't do when asking for a raise. Here's what CareerJournal lists as five things you should avoid doing when asking for a raise:

• Don't act entitled.
• Don't tell a sob story.
• Don't indulge in theatrics.
• Don't demand to be paid as much as a co-worker.
• Don't threaten to quit.

Here's my take on these from 20 years as a manager/employee:

1. No one likes people who think they deserve something they may or may not deserve. Have your facts with you and be confident, of course, but don't act like you own the place and it's the least they can do to give you a raise.

2. No one cares about your sob story -- at least from a business standpoint. A boss may sympathize with you, but that has zero impact on whether or not the company should keep you around.

I've had a couple of experiences in this area in my career:

• An employee told me he needed a raise because he was in deep credit card debt. Not only did I not give him a raise, but I started questioning his judgment and ability to handle company funds.

• One employee had a spouse who passed away. He was a marginal employee at best, but the company kept him around since he was going through a rough time. When the company downsized SIX YEARS later, he asked why he was being let go. He thought the company should keep him forever since his wife had died.

3. Creating a scene of any sort will not help you, it will hurt you. I would never give a raise to someone who did this.

4. This can have some value, but I'd never say this outright if it were me (How do you know this information anyway -- have you been looking at confidential information you had no right to? Or maybe the other employee told you -- at which point you'll get him in trouble.) But I would say something like, "I simply want to be sure I'm compensated fairly compared to others in my position and at my performance level." I think that's ok.

5. This can work in the short-term, but is a killer long-term. I had an employee tell me I needed to pay him more or he was leaving. I believed him and he was vital on a key project, so we paid him more. But I started finding people to do bits and pieces of his job and once the project was over he was  no longer in a good bargaining position. He eventually was replaced by another employee.

So, have any of you had experiences with any of these -- either as the asker or askee? What was the result?

Comments

[Fred]

I have had experience not as an askee, but as someone who was going to quit. My employer asked if there was anything he could do to change my mind. I was quitting for a job that paid more, and said as much. So he gave me enough or a pay increase that I decided to stay. We both benefited from this, and I am still here after 3 years.

[plonkee]

Although I don't think that demanding to be paid as much as a co-worker is a good tactic, I don't think that for example I should get into trouble for telling someone else how much I am paid. After all, my bank manager knows, why shouldn't I tell whoever I like.

[Minimum Wage]

What if the employee incurred the credit card debt in trying to start up a business (as opposed to buying big screen televisions) in order to escape their crummy job and difficult boss? Some would call that good judgment.