How Not to Get a Job

I've talked about strange things interviewers have done, what not to wear in an interview, and even wondered if creative resumes are worth the risk, but what I'm about to share really takes the cake.

Here are two lists. The first details the 10 dumbest job-interview moves while the second covers the 10 dumbest resume blunders. My favorites from the interview gaffes:

• The job hunter said we had nice benefits, which was good because he was going to have to take a lot of leave in the coming year.
• The job hunter delivered his entire cover letter in the form of a rap song.
• The job hunter brought his mother to the interview and let her do all the talking.

Can you imagine what the interviewer thought when the job hunter showed up with his mom? I would have paid a good amount of money to be a fly on the wall for that one!

Here are my favs of the resume blunders:

• A job candidate attached a letter from her mother.
• A job candidate used pale blue paper with teddy bears printed around the border.
• A job candidate explained a three-month gap in employment by saying that he was getting over the death of his cat.
• A job candidate specified that his availability to work Fridays, Saturdays, or Sundays is limited because the weekends are "drinking time."
• A job candidate stated that he works well in the nude.
• A job candidate explained an arrest record by stating, "We stole a pig, but it was a really small pig."

What is it with job hunters bringing their mom along or having mom write a letter?

Unbelievable. I don't have a lot to say about these other than use common sense when you develop your resume and go for interviews. Think what the person hearing what you say or reading what you wrote will feel about what you do, then act accordingly. Don't simply "be yourself" and expect them to love you. Let's face it, we're all a bit quirky in one way or another. That's ok, that's what makes life interesting. But we don't need to display our quirks to a complete stranger who has a business to run and holds our financial well-being in his hands. It's usually a recipe for disaster.

Comments

[Chris]

It seems young people bringing mommy or daddy to interviews is getting worse. No doubt they are writing their resumes for them, too. Parents today seem to be overparenting. These kids can't function without their mom's help. I don't know why this is, but kids just seem totally helpless. I went to check my mail the other morning (our boxes are at the end of the street), and when I got out of my car the kid walking to school on the sidewalk flipped out and started sprinting away, terrified.

Okay, maybe I'm just extra scary-looking, but it just amazes me how helpless and coddled kids are. Many parents I know don't let their kids go outside if its too hot, raining, too cold, dusk - well, any excuse really. Gotta be home playing video games in view of mom & dad at all times. I see kids on the corner waiting for a school bus (middle school aged kids here) and several moms are either on the other corner, watching them, or sitting in their SUVs several yards behind watching them. 13 year olds with babysitters. I could go on.

I really always thought that the whole idea of parenting was to prepare them to function on their own. Maybe I'm wrong.

[Vixen]

Oh dear god, that was hilarious. My restaurant has been hiring lately and one of the potential hires came in, had an interview, was told we'd give him a call, CAME BACK two hours later and was repeated to that we would give him a call... CAME BACK that night.

Needless to say, he didn't get the job.

[Mrs. Micah]

If the teddy bear one was applying to be a nurse or attendant in an newborn care unit or perhaps a daycare which focused on preschoolers, I could kinda see that. I have a cousin who teaches elementary school and she has a version of her (not her only) resume with bright colored letters on top and a sun or something.

In defense of young people, while many of us are awkward interviewers, I don't know a single person who'd bring their parent or have their parents write a letter. Oh, there was one freshman roommate who had her mom check over all her papers...but it seemed like she grew out of it by sophomore year.

[beastlike]

(Chris - When I was young I was always outside running around. However, with all the sicko's we have nowadays, it's hard to let you kids that far out of sight.)

Those are hilarious, I can't believe someone would actually bring their parents. LOL!

[Single Guy]

While funny, and I have read some of these before, what someone needs to do is put together a list of the jerk behavior from the people giving the interviews. While most of interviews over the years were professional, there were some where I would never, ever, want to work with those people. Stupid, ignorant, and sometimes just bizare behavior by the people looking for someone to work for them. It truly goes both ways.

[Andrew]

When I was in corporate America, I used to handle a lot of hiring. All I have to say is people are completely absurd when it comes to resumes. I had one guy who had a stellar resume: harvard undergrad, columbia grad, 2 years at Lehman brothers, the list goes on. When we did a background check, he actually went to community college and worked at Kinko's for 3 years HAHA