The Wall Street Journal has some great tips on how to divorce the right way (at least financially). They suggest you cut out the lawyers and negotiate the separation agreement yourself (then get it looked over by different lawyers) The other key suggestions they have:
- Avoid the legal arms race because it will hurt both of you. As you negotiate a settlement, every dollar of legal costs incurred likely means 50 cents out of your pocket. Trust me: There are cheaper ways to work through your anger.
- Having the ex-spouse around the corner might seem uncomfortably close. But if you have children, it probably means you will see less of your former spouse. There are no awkward drop-offs and pickups. Instead, the kids just walk back and forth.
- Maintain a reservoir of goodwill, because you'll need it. It will be your week with the kids, your boss will have other plans -- and you may need your ex-spouse to bail you out.
- If your ex ends up with a little more money in the divorce or goes on to do well financially, don't let it eat away at you. In all likelihood, your children will be the ultimate beneficiaries.
- Think of your relationship with your ex-spouse as a business relationship. Forget the bad blood. Ignore stuff that isn't your business. Instead, focus on the task at hand, which is raising the children.
Fortunately, I haven't had to deal with this issue, but we have good friends that are going through a divorce right now. I printed the article out for them and hope it can help make a tough situation just a bit better.
For some marriage and money posts, check these out:
Update: Here's another divorce-related money post -- this time from MSN Money.
One of the first comments I received from a reader of my book was "I'd add the following rule for those who want to create wealth: Choose your spouse carefully. A divorce will kill you financially. It has ruined many of my friends' financial futures."
Like you, I've never had to deal with this issue personally and don't plan on it.
Interestingly, the WSJ did another article several months ago on a very amicable divorce in process. Easier said than done, as this follow-up piece demonstrated: http://blogs.wsj.com/wealth/2008/01/04/more-money-messier-divorce/
Posted by: Beyond Paycheck to Paycheck | February 19, 2008 at 09:19 AM
My ex-wife and I did everything without lawyers. We had a pretty uncomplicated divorce...ie no kids and we sold our house before going to court. It was relatively easy just doing a little research on how to file the actual documents either online or at the library.
We agreed on how to split everything up, wrote it up in an official document, filed it, got rejected once due to an incorrect format, refiled it correctly, got it on the docket, went to court and the judge questioned both of us under oath for about 15 minutes and we were done. I'm sure we saved thousands of dollars in legal fees.
Posted by: Kevin | February 19, 2008 at 09:26 AM
They say love is grand.....and divorce is 50 grand.
Posted by: Ron@TheWisdomJournal | February 19, 2008 at 10:39 AM
The best way is not to divorce. One of the best ways to avoid this is to marry someone from a family without a history of divorce. If your future spouse was brought up in an environment with multiple dads, etc, he/she probably would think that is normal. Think about all your friends that are divorced - were thier parents divorced? Studies have shown that in all likelyhood, yes.
Posted by: Ryan | February 19, 2008 at 11:12 AM