My Networking Plan

Have you ever read the book Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time? I haven't, but I know many people who have (and they've recommended it to me.) Amazon has a nice summary of the book and here's the key sentence IMO:

People who instinctively establish a strong network of relationships have always created great businesses.

Now I've written over and over again that a key part of making the most of your career is having a strong network. It's your network that can open up future business opportunities, help you with all sorts of problems/issues, get you a new job when you need it (or at least open up some options) and so on. That's why we all need to create, maintain, and nurture a strong, vibrant, and growing network. To that end, I thought I'd list what I do to keep my network as strong as possible:

• I eat lunch twice a week with a business acquaintance or some other part of my network. This can be a new contact or an established one. Yeah, a twice-weekly lunch can be expensive, but it's a time when most people are free, it gets me out of the office (the other days I eat at my desk), and I look at it as an investment in my career (my biggest financial asset.)

• I volunteer with a few non-profit organizations, serving on the board or some other sort of executive committee for them. I get to make a difference for a good charity and at the same time meet new, influential people in a quasi-business-like setting. Doing this got me my current job.

• I belong to a few recreational groups that add in a whole new level of contacts. In particular, I belong to a bike club, I coach basketball and help run our team, and I am a soccer referee. Fun stuff with a side benefit, huh?

Of course I don't pursue these activities simply because I want to increase my network. No, I meet with people because I like them, I can help them, or simply for friendship. Them being part of my network is simply a nice side benefit. Same goes for the non-profit work -- I do it to help others and get a reward myself. And as for the rec stuff, it's a TON of fun!

Overall, the main points I want to stress here are:

1. Your network is important. Develop it as much as you can.

2. Without a concerted, purposeful effort, it's possible that your network could wither and even die. Be sure you do all you can to keep it fresh and growing. You never know when you're going to need it, and when you do need it, it's too late to start developing it.

Comments

[Angie]

What do you recommend for a shy person in corporate setting where all they push is networking?

I am in my 20's surrounded by 85-90% soon-to-be retirees. With nearly nothing in common. I know networks are the way to go, but being a very shy individually with a relatively small group of friends, it is very out of character and awkward.

Also, after two years working and being detached from everyone by choice. Any starting points or hints to ease the transition into at least seeming more personable and interested?

[Isabel]

I'm interested in your feedback to Angie; although in my case, I wouldn't say that I'm shy. I'm just very introverted, and thus have never enjoyed networking. (Shyness to me suggests a fear of something; and I don't fear people or fear rejection or anything like that...I just don't enjoy interacting with people that much. I crave solitude most of the time.)

In fact, I enjoy networking even less as I get older...I would almost go so far as to call it torturous these days. That's because on top of having always been introverted, I've been battling a major depression for about 2 years with limited success; and being depressed exacerbates my introverted nature. Which is not to say that I'm only introverted when depressed -- just that my ability to fake social enjoyment is a lot weaker.

So far I realize I sound like a real freak. I'm not. Most people don't realize the extent of my introversion; but I'm very aware of it myself.

Anyway -- whatever your personal torture might be: if being exposed to it again and again and again, without any expectation of relief, was necessary for the health of your career...what would you do to make it more bearable? That is what I need to figure out for myself; but would be interested to hear your suggestions too.

[FMF]

Angie/Isabel --

Think of "networking" as "making friends". It will make it seem a lot more fun. :-)

Networking can be as easy as asking someone if they want to join you for lunch. It's as easy as volunteering for a local charity. It's as easy as joining a club of something you like to do (bike, sail, play cards, etc.) It's as easy as attending a "special" event at church. Wherever people congregate and have joint activities (which are often fun), there are networking opportunities.

These sorts of things will help you with outside-of-work networking. If you want/need to network in business circles (or even in your own company), you're going to have to be a bit more bold (though you can use the lunch idea here as well.) Maybe you join an after-hours group for drinks one evening (you may even like it!) Maybe you volunteer for a special company activity (like planning the Christmas party.) Again, wherever people are, there you'll want to be.

For me, the lunch thing works really well. It's non-threatening, something everyone does, and even if it goes horribly wrong, it's only an hour. You could start by offering to take those you want to meet/network with to lunch. Tell them you have some questions about how they've gotten where they have, what advice they may have for you, etc. People generally love to help others and dish out advice (not to mention the fact that they can't turn down a free lunch.) If you hit it off, you can then continue meeting as a natural friendship/mentorship develops.

If you're too shy to even ask others out to lunch, I probably don't have a lot of worthwhile advice for you, though I would suggest you work to stretch yourself a bit and do it anyway. As Isabel says, we all have our own personal issues (speaking in public, traveling away from family, etc.) that we have to get over, so this may simply be your issue.

[Kate]

How do you find the time for this?

I'm a working mom. I can see how one could find time to spend lunch with others a couple of times a week (I'm also an introvert and prefer to use lunch to get things done or read, but two times a week with others is manageable). And, I do volunteer at church (in a minimal capacity) and on a committee at my daughter's school. Beyond that, there's so much to do at home, and I want to spend some of my precious free time with family. I feel like my network could use a boost, but I don't see how to do that without sacrificing my family on the altar of career, which I'm not going to do.

[FMF]

Kate --

A working mom is strapped for time, I know. Is there any non-family time you can cut out? If not, you might want to try networking that's a bit more convenient like joining LinkedIn and "working" that network when you have time throughout your day. You can do it in bits and spurts and via email, so it's a bit more friendly for those with severe time constraints.

[Miss J]

If you think networking is easy, you are neither shy nor introverted. When I started out I rtied to lunch with a small group, knowing that if i could not maintain the conversation, the group would keep it going.
I listened and observed topics of conversation to see how others kept it light without it all being about work.
Then I looked around for someone who also appeared quiet, but maybe not as shy as I was. It was easier to talk to that person than the ones who always had a snappy comeback or joke at hand.
I also started smiling and saying "good morning" as I entered the elevator, just to get used to talking to people without having to actally carry on a conversation.
Every little bit helps to make it easier, even if not entirely comfortable. I'm now to the point where I have a fairly good network of people I can talk to.