Ever notice how money is a taboo topic -- even among friends and family members? People who don't mind sharing the most intimate details of their lives wouldn't be caught dead talking about how much they earn, how much they have invested, etc. with others.
And with friends, it gets a bit stranger than with most. Kiplinger's addresses the issues friends face when dealing with money in their article on money matters and friends. Their main thoughts:
In college, most of us were on a pretty equal footing when it came to money -- we were broke.
But as you graduate and head into the working world, that all begins to change. As much as you'd like to think it won't, money starts to play a bigger role in your friendships when you leave school. One friend's salary may start to eclipse the other. Or one of you may choose to go to grad school (taking a temporary vow of poverty) while the other opts for the first rung of the career ladder and a steady paycheck. These new disparities can give way to feelings of envy and resentment, make a less-fortunate friend feel left behind and jealous of the other's success, or a well-off friend feel taken advantage of.
One of the main reasons money can create a wedge between even the dearest friends is lack of communication.
We share our most intimate secrets with our friends. So why is it so difficult for us to broach the money subject? Two main reasons: We don't want to look bad, and we don't want to make our friends feel bad.
Very interesting thoughts here. We're going to be discussing this issue over the next few days. I invite you to join in the conversation in the comments below. Tell us what you think about money talk among friends, what you do/don't do, what you've learned from past experiences, etc. I think we can all learn from each other and hopefully make some sense out of this very unique money topic.
Actually, I disagree with the notion that people were on equal footing in college -- everybody being broke. Plenty of people go through college subsidized by Mommy and Daddy, and money never seems to be an object. And even then, the "haves vs. have-nots" are pretty obvious.....
Posted by: Kate | June 14, 2006 at 07:51 PM
I disagree with the first commentor (Kate). Without parent's assistance, most children are broke. As a parent, I see it as my responsibility to pay for a basic college education for my child. They shouldn't have to start their life in debt with student loans. If I can't plan well enough financially to send my child to college, shame on me.
Posted by: Rick | June 15, 2006 at 10:44 AM
I agree with Kate. College is a place where you can see the difference between the haves and have nots. But for the most part, I would say we were all pretty broke in the group of friends that gravitated towards me. Sure we had a few exceptions, but that's their business.
Posted by: mapgirl | June 16, 2006 at 09:32 AM