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June 28, 2007


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My first year of marriage this year was probably not a typical one but none-the-less, I'm happy to have committed myself to my husband. We've been happy together for 10 years now and hopefully many more.

Once upon a time I wanted to get married. Then I started noticing how my friends all changed when they got married. They got fat, lazy, and meek. Their wives chunked up, cut off the hair, and bossed them around. Then I heard the divorce rate was over 50% nationwide. Now I'm hearing its even higher. I also read stories about how women demand and get huge alimony payments and child support payments. The funny thing I can't figure out is how can it be proven that they are actually spending the money on the kids. Hell, that wedding ring that costs $10K or so gets cashed in at the pawn shop, upon which clothes are bought to attract the next sucker. Ever hear the story about the guy who put a bean in a jar for each time he had sex with his girlfriend before marriage, and the took one out after marriage only to find the jar never emptied? And women wonder why guys go see prostitutes. Its funny how a guy will say his marriage is wonderful with his wife standing right there next to him. What is she saying when she's out with the girls? I disagree that married people are happier. Maybe for the first 6 months, but after that's its downhill. There are too many lawyers in the United States and not enough work for them. The fact that you need to get a prenup drafted, and the possibility that you have to go to court to get visitation rights to see kids or have your paycheck garnished makes marriage all the less desirable. This is the only country in the world where I could walk into a room and see my wife riding on top of my best friend and then have to pay her alimony after she gets a lawyer and takes me to court. In some countries, she could be executed for such an act. Not here. No, I think I'll just stay unmarried, thank you.

Marriage leads to a higher net worth? Perhaps for some. But in my case I'm financially better off for my wife having divorced me. No not immediately. Initially it was a hit as I gave up over 50% of my assets in the divorce. But in less than a year, she'd spent her share. And in the two decades since, I've recovered financially. And she continues to spend it faster than she gets it.

And as far as happy -- yes, I am happier being single. And given my track record in the women I've gotten involved in, I'm better off staying single.

But if you've made a good choice -- good for you. You're lucky.

I hear you Steve. Marriage is good for some, being single is good for others.

Its a shame many think single people are 'missing something'. Single people can live fully satisfied, quality, happy lives.

It all depends on the person you're with and how compatible you are. I'm not married but I am in a long-term relationship and having a partner definitely makes me happier!

Interesting topic, I guess the answer is it depends. I've been happily married for a year now despite facing various obstacles thrown our way.

First, before even getting married you should find out if you and your spouse to be are financially compatible. I read all these statistics about divorce rates and many of the differences in relationships are about finances. He likes to save, she loves to spend or vice versa. He wants this lifestyle they can't afford, she wants to be frugal and plan for the future. You can imagine that this will lead to an unhappy and resentful marriage. Now if you're on the same boat about money, sure you can have a higher net worth.

About changing when you're married. Again, that's something that should be discussed before marraige. Some things just never make sense to me. Some people think that as soon as you get married the person you're marrying will somehow change into someone they're not, someone they'd like to be with even if it's not the real them. And sometimes people take the complete opposite approach thinking that because they're married they can let themselves go physically and not have to work at the relationship. Being married doesn't change who you married, you still have to work at it and it goes both ways if you want it to last.

So my opinion is that it's not about the state of being married but about what your expectations are, compatibilities, and communication. It's amazing people will spend $30k+ to get married, to make a life long commitment without talking these things through. And then they're surprised so many end up in divorse? What, it was too hard to talk about before saying "I do"? Divorse is alot more costly and difficult, how about that for some perspective. :)

I always think these results are flawed. Most people get married and lots of single people are divorced. Divorce definitely reduces your net worth (just in legal fees) so I don't think its fair to compare.

I'm sure being happily married makes people happy though.

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