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September 13, 2007


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Either way you are sacrificing something, so it is a matter of what is most important and what is going to best for you and your family.

Personally, I think that if you love this current job and you want to stay there you should. You sound very happy, and that is going to reflect into other areas of your life. On the other hand, if your family is in desperate need financially or for you to be home more, then other job may be better for your family.

As a single person, I would choose to be at a job that I love vs. one that just pays well.

I read this blog every day, but I must say (Sorry FMF) that money is not everything. I truly believe that you must be happy with what you do or there may not be a retirement to enjoy. Being unhappy in a job can suck the life out of you and no amount of money will bring back that happiness. If you are happy with the job you currently have and see yourself retiring from there, why change a good thing? If it ain't broke, don't fix it. If you are comfortable (roof over your head, food on your table, and a happy home life), there should be no reason to move to a job that you won't enjoy.

To me, there are some things in life that aren't worth the trade off in money and a good work environment is one of them. Loving my job is extremely important considering how many hours a week I spend there. Personally, I commute 40 minutes into the city to work at job I love versus working in my hometown at a job I really disliked. I'm so much happier and so is my family. To me...happiness all the way around is worth more than money.

Here are a few questions to ponder -
your commute is about 40 hours a month (a whole work week) longer then the commute with the new position. What could you do with that time? What would you want to do with that time? How many people get an opportunity to have such a gift of time?

You do not seem to mention what your wife/partner thinks of this? Those 2 hours could go a long way in enjoying your son and helping out at home.

A lot less in gas and wear and tear on the car. Even if you did it for 2 years - bingo - instant savings.

Good luck with your decision


Personally, I would take the higher pay and shorter commute and spend that 2 hours at home with your son. I could put up with not liking my job as much for 8 hrs if it meant an extra 2 hrs a day with him.

Hope whatever choice you make is right.

If you really love the job then stay. The extra 2 hours per day at home isn't worth 8 hours of unhappiness, mostly because the unhappiness will spill over.

If you love your job and can see yourself retiring there, then why don't you move closer to it?? Two hours a day in the car is a HUGE cost in time, money, pollution, and stress. All that gas plus car maintenance you'll save probably makes your 4% raise more like a 10% one.

More importantly, though, you'll gain 2 hours a day you could be a) working b) relaxing and/or c) seeing your family. Something like 80% of people say they'd take a pay cut to spend more time with their families--and you're being offered a raise! It seems like a no brainer to me. Take the new job, or move towards your current one.

Assuming that you have already been offered the job close to home, you could:

Ask for a raise at your current job (assuming you are not under contract), pointing out that you have a job offer equal to X.

You could move closer to your current job. Why do you live so far away? Cost of living? Your spouse works in the other direction and this is the half way point? Inertia?

You could ask the school for a 1 year leave of absence and try out the new job for a year and see how you like it.

Which do you love more, your job or your family?

This seems like a tough decision. The much faster commute could give you 2 hours extra time with your son, but happiness at work is really important.

You could use a decision technique to write out the pros and cons of each decision and compare them.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Personally, I would stick with the job you love, and see if you can move closer to it. If you want to work there until you retire, why would you continue to live an hour away?

Oh, and take your wife's opinion into consideration. It's much more important than any of ours. ;)

If the new job is an okay one (even though not the one I love passionately), I would take the shorter-commute job any day of the week. Just FYI, I live 1 hour away from work and I have a work I love.

Your son won't be 6 months old for long, and while he still wants to, you should spend time with him more. There might be a time when our presence (as parents) is considered a bother, but at his current age, he still loves you!! ^_^

I would start searching for a new job you will love and wait until your son is around 2 before you really ge pressured to think you need to spend more time with them. I know I'm probably going to be flamed to death but I found it hard to interact with both of my kids until they could run around and I could actually do things with them and communicate with them. There is only so much holding you need to do and babies prefer their Moms anyway (or the person who is with them the most, which is usually their Mom). When my kids were babies I didn't know what to do with them, they just kind of sit there and stare at you. Sure thats fine for an hour a day, but how much of that are you going to want to do when you come home cranky and tired from a job you don't enjoy.

Until your kids hit about 8-10 (maybe even 12) they will think your the greatest thing on the planet and look up to you. That gives you about 6-8 (or if you're lucky 10) years to teach them how the world works. After that more influence will probably come from their friends, the media, their teachers/mentors, and anyone else who isn't you since you make all the rules and they won't want to listen to you anymore.

I would move closer to the job I loved. I mean what are the reasons to stay in the village you're in? I definitely working a job that you love is more important than a 4% raise. I'm not sure if it's worth 2 hours a day but you can change that....

I'm tempted to say take the new job, because as long as it isn't a job that I hate I would love to give up that commute. Spending 2 hours in a car every day? Ugg.

I think your best solution (dependant of course upon your spouse's situation) is to find somewhere closer to the job that you like to live. I wouldn't give up a job I love for more money.

As long as I wasn't going into a job that I'd hate I would give it up for a shorter commute, though.

Of course, what kind of commute is it? Is there public transportation? If so, then it might be worth keeping, if only because you don't have to be the one driving and can use the 2 hours to read or do something else.

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