If you read Free Money Finance during the weekday, you know how much I like most of Penelope Trunk's career advice. She's got good, solid, practical advice that works in the real world. So many career "experts" are out of touch with the key issues (and thus the associated responses) in the workplace today. Trunk is not like that. She knows what is going on in companies and dishes out no-nonsense advice that will help those who take it make the most of their careers.
In addition, she's a big-time author and columnist. Her book Brazen Careerist: The New Rules for Success seems to be everywhere and is a very good read (I recommend it highly for those of you interested in advancing your career.) She appears to be popular, famous, and on top of her game professionally. In other words, it seems as if she has it all together.
"Seems" is the key word.
While her professional life is skyrocketing, Penelope's personal life is collapsing. She blogs about her marriage problems quite frequently, detailing the unraveling of a once great relationship. Her entries on the subject make for compelling reading, but I can't help but ache for her and her husband every time I read one of them. I so hope they are able to put the past behind them and move on.
In thinking of her professional career and how it contrasts to her private life, this verse keeps playing in my head over and over again:
What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?
Matthew 16:26 (New International Version)
No, we're not talking about her soul in this case, but the main sentiment of this verse holds true for her -- and for us all. What good is it to be successful in our careers, to earn and accumulate tons of money, and to be well-thought-of by our peers, if our family life is sacrificed as a result? Of course, the answer is that it's not a worthwhile trade-off at all. We've simply substituted what appears to be success at the cost of what really matters most -- the love of fellow human beings.
I'm not saying Penelope has done this -- that she's sacrificed her marriage in order to become successful -- but what I am saying is that all the talk we do about money, growing your net worth, and the like (and I do more of it than anyone I know) is important, but there are many, many, many more things much more important than becoming wealthy. I consider this post a reminder to myself to always keep the first things first.
I don't agree on how much of an expert she is. A good percentage of what she posts is drivel and self-flattering advertisement. A good company should be concerned to have someone that self-centered working for them, because it isn't going to be for their benefit, but hers. Obviously, you can't (and shouldn't) completely sublimate yourself into being a full on company slave but everything she advocates is about jumping from company lily pad to company lily pad as a social butterfly. Her incorporation of her personal problems into her professional life is also pretty much the opposite of what constitutes professionalism as well. Airing your dirty laundry to unaffected parties is NOT the mark of someone who wants to fix that problem and is only going to make it worse. She's gossiping about someone, and that person should be one of the most important people in her life. Think about it.
That said, she does have some use, and there are some pretty angry people staking out her comment sections that live to attack her, and a lot of them aren't providing much value either. She's had a few guest columnists that have been pretty bad, too. I seem to recall one comparing the burnt out losers of Generation X with the supercool people of Generation Y that would overlook their crustiness and accept them as part of their team, because that's what they do. I thought it was hilarious(ly stupid) but I think quite a few people were pretty offended.
Posted by: Robert | December 09, 2007 at 06:59 AM
That's a good point to keep in mind- thanks for sharing.
Posted by: AmandaD | December 09, 2007 at 08:54 AM
I think it is a great reminder. Money is a means not a result. If you don't find a work/life balance you won't ever find fulfillment. We are meant to work and we are meant to have great relationships and fellowship.(not to mention many other things in life) It is the elusive balance between the two that is hard find.
Robert - I don't know much about her but to be fair her column is titled, "Advice at the intersection of work and life". Seems to be the marriage material would fall in the "life" section. I would commend her for sharing her "dirty laundry" for the benefit of others.
Posted by: Todd | December 09, 2007 at 10:56 AM
penelope trunk may perhaps be the worst business writer i have ever seen. many people agree (try reading her reviews for her overall reception). but, to each his/her own. i guess i posted this because i am amazed that she has a fan
Posted by: bryan | December 09, 2007 at 03:24 PM
I enjoy Penelope's blog as well and admire her candor, even about her marriage. While I don't agree with all of her material, it makes me think and I keep going back to read more.
Posted by: JB | December 09, 2007 at 09:34 PM
I'm not such a huge fan of Penelope Trunk's advice or her articles. Some of what she says is useful, but I don't really get much out of it. I do, however, agree with what you're saying in this article. Success outside the home can't compensate for failure within the home. I do focus a lot of time on my financial future, yet it's important to remember that there are more important things.
Posted by: limeade | December 09, 2007 at 10:29 PM
I just read Penelope Trunk's blog post that you linked to. Very sad. I hope that *if* she is putting her career before her family, that she realizes what she's doing before it's too late :(
Posted by: Becky | December 09, 2007 at 11:09 PM
Thank you for writing this post. So many people ask me why I write about my marriage on my career blog. You do a great job of showing why the two are so related. I will definitely point people here.
Once we have a family, almost every career decision we make is also a family decision. I think we only hear about the good stuff -- when all the decisions line up perfectly. But I think we probably learn the most from each others' mistakes. I find that the more I write about my own mistakes, the more other people open up about their mistakes, and then we are all learning more, and figuring out how to make better decisions together.
Penelope
Posted by: Penelope Trunk | December 10, 2007 at 12:12 AM
I hope that you can resolve some of these personal issues for the very best, Penelope. It's tough.
Life is complicated. What works for some people will not work for others -- same as finances.
Posted by: | December 10, 2007 at 08:59 AM
I seem to be writing the following a lot this week.
Matthew 6 verse 19 -21 "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where theives break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."
So, you have to ask yourself, everytime, where is my heart?
Posted by: Carol | December 10, 2007 at 07:19 PM