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December 03, 2007


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OK, but what about my dog? I am single and don't have children, but I'm concerned about what will happen to my beloved dog should something happen to me. Seriously, I am going to assign someone to take him if something happens to me.

My brother and his wife need to create wills. My wife was asking me if they had one a few months ago, and she talked to them about it over Thanksgiving. They hadn't gotten around to it yet. Once you have kids, there is no excuse not to have one.

Our problem is the person we'd most likely send our kids to lives out of state while the rest of both of our families live here. We have a couple other alternatives, but will probably use our parents as the "placekeepers" for now. I think separating the kids and the money is a great idea, by the way.

What happens if your neighbors or friends say no? That they are uncomfortable with the responsibility? Has it ever happened before?

I wonder about this because I don't know who we would pick for our kids. Probably no one.

This is an angle my wife and I have not considered. We have named two of our nephews as our guardians as well as our executors.

We have discussed this with our children and they seem okay with it. I am not sure if the full implications have set in.

The two senior girls may have some ideas of their own.

THis matter is listed as one of our agenda for the next family meeting.

Thanks for this very relevant post to us parents.

LivingAlmostLarge --

That's why you ask your friends/family first, before you name them guardians in your will.

FYI, if you don't name anyone, the state will decide who gets your kids. Do you want that to happen?

How do you know people aren't just saying yes out of uncomfortableness?

LivingAlmostLarge --

You need to talk it through to make sure.

Also, having a back-up couple helps as well (to take over if the first don't.)

Then, if those two fall through, you're left to the state deciding -- which is where you are now anyway.

Keep in mind that, as you update your wills, someone who was previously "too young" may now be an ideal choice. You probably don't want to burden your 19 year old college student with raising your 9 year old, but 6 years down the road, your married 25 year old may be in a great position to see your 15 year old through high school.

(I was thinking of this because my in-laws recently listed my wife as the #1 choice for guardianship of her younger sister. I just realized I'm not actually listed; only my wife is. Does anyone know if that would lead to legal complications?)

great topic. Untill recently we always assumed our parents would do it. But we want them to stay grandparents, and also we want a more permanant assingment.
I love the idea of separating guardianship and money responsibilities, I never thought of that, and it actually clears up our decision.
also, if the person/people you talk to are really likley to say yes out of uncomfortableness, then you aren't talking to the right people. This isn't a casual question, it is a whole conversation, and it should be returned to as time passes and lives change.
My bro in law and his wife are set to take care of our kids for now, but if they end up with 3 kids of their own, they may feel differently. It is an open topic, after all, if I can't have an open honest talk with the person, I sure don't want them taking care of my kids!

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