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« Free Money Finance March Madness, Final 32, Posts 29-32 | Main | How to Have a Better, Longer, More-Fulfilling Life »

March 13, 2008


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I'm with you... on the paying habits on dates, at least... :-) I'm starting to feel my age, but I might only date back to Cro-Magnon man instead of the dinosaurs. I have reached for the check first about 100% of the time. I've been married for a while now, but thinking back, if it was a first date, I didn't usually give up that check after reaching for it.

I think guys should always pay for the first 2 or 3 dates. But I would want the woman to chip in by date 4 or 5.

We live in a different era now -- and ome that should be celebrated. Doors were closed for women in terms of career opportunities a generation ago. Now women have the freedom to make their own money. There's nothing wrong in expecting a woman to pay for a date or two, although not the first few dates.

That's interesting actually. Based on your survey, It's clear how complicated women can be, you do what they ask, you loose, you do what they expect you loose, you do you loose. It's really interesting.

I say don't make something like paying for someone's dinner so tense, simply offer to pay and if she's determined to pay for it, let her pay, if she gets all mad later then there you go, something new to talk about. That's it. It's a bittersweet world mang, deal wit it.

I'm in my late 20's and getting back into the dating scene after a little break and move.

I'm fairly traditional in that I think the guy should pay most of the time. And almost every guy I have gone on a date with is the same way. But it does depend on what the date entails. With my last serious relationship...our first date was fairly long so we each paid for part of the night. From then on he paid most of the time, but I chipped in every once-in-awhile.

On a first date, I am very willing (and I offer to) pay the tip if we go out to dinner. Honestly, if expects me or accepts my offer to pay for my share or for all of it, I get offended. I believe it's the gentlemanly thing to pay for dinner or for a significant amount of the date.

I met a lady whose friend met a guy online. They got along fabulously online, and on their first date until they went to a very fancy, expensive resturant where he ordered a very expensive meal. He accepted her offer to pay for it all...she was being nice/slightly joking about paying. The relationship ended that night. I guess it's important to be upfront and diplomatic about what you expect.

Mid 20s female. I would expect that if I was invited on a first date, the guy would pay. If he were more wealthy than I, the trend should continue, and I'd chip in for smaller things. If we were on similar economic grounds, the balance would shift to roughly half and half.

But I've been in a relationship for 3.5 years, starting in college when "dates" were rarely fancy/expensive. We used to split most things pretty evenly, and now I pay more often as I have a good job and he is in grad school.

If I invited someone on the date (which I probably wouldn't do anyway) I would expect to pay for AT LEAST my share, if not all.

I'm a modern woman. I believe whoever does the asking should expect to do the paying. That said, in my crowd, I think the first date is usually dutch, especially if it's something cheap (think college students - $5 dinner and $2 movie).

I've treated my boyfriend/husband to nice events a few times solely out of my own money, but he's done it for me far more often; it's just the type of man he is. If I insisted on paying, it would have offended him (before we got married and combined all our finances).

Oh what a tangled web.

When my husband and I go out, if his wallet is low, I give him what is in mine. Not that it matters, but I just love having him pay. It makes me feel special. Silly I know - but I looked "kept" to the outside world.

Now, as a mother - it sometimes bothers me, that my son (baby) is footing the bill all the time. Go figure. I just feel when you are young and working to get in and through college - there needs to be compromises.

Not all, but some young women seem to think he has an endless flow of cash. Thankfully, he is wise and moves on.

My end thoughts are - do what is natural. The object is not money, but happiness. Sharing the bill gives everyone a foot hole and it can only mean greater things in the future.

If you are going out to your favorite steak restaurant, you pay, if you are going to the ballet, she pays. Also, whoever asks, pays.

I'm a mid-twenties gal. Seriously fellow ladies, if you don't really want to pay don't offer, why go through the effort of pretending - at least be honest.

My philosophy is similar to Ryan's whoever asks - pays. The only exception I make to this is when we go out with an older group of people (people from my work, parents, etc) then have the guy pick up the check - it earns the guy more respect and then the girl can grab another one even he does the asking.

Say what you mean, mean what you say. Yes, you should offer to pay! And you should willingly do so if he accepts. Men, you should run away if she offers to pay and then gets huffy about it if you let her. That is a sign of things to come in my opinion. I have so many friends that complain about their husbands with things like that. They say, "He asked if I minded if I went out with some friends. I said okay, but I didn't mean it. I can't believe he went!" WHAT?!?!? That is crazy. He can't read your mind and you shouldn't expect him to. If I tell my husband (or my date back when he was my date) that I am fine if he does something I have no right to get mad about it later. The same thing happens with women who say they don't like or want flowers and then complain that he never buys her any.

Even though we share everthing jointly. I love it when my husband pays for dinner etc. When we were dating I was in college and he worked so he paid for most everything for me. Now that I am home with our children I guess he is really paying for everything again. However he doesn't mind, as he thinks I work just as hard at him my day just looks a little different. As far as in the dating world. If someone asks then they can pay but if the other person is going to be offended then let it go. If you can't work out who pays and someone is always offended I think that the relationship may be doomed. If someone is a super feminist and can't handle being paid for, you better prepare yourself for a few battles anyway! Don't get me wrong I do believe that men and women are equal, I just don't think that feminism is always right (for example the door opening thing) For all the women offended by the door opening thing I say just wait till you have kids and are trying to get them both into the library at the same time, you'll wish for that traditional male in a hurry!

I think that the person who asked the other one out should always pay int he beginning of the relationship. In an established relationship I think it should be split or alternated.

I asked my husband out on our first date, and I was horrified when he reached for the check. I explained to him that I *wanted* to pay. He was at first really surprised, then he laughed and said it was really cool, no woman had ever done that before. We were married a couple of years later...

I think every situation is different but I do expect a man to pay for me if he asked me out on a date, once we are dating a little while I always start to chip it. Some Men are more than happy to let you pay your way sometimes and some instist that they pay. You just have to feel it out.

StackingPennies sounds a lot like me. My boyfriend and I started dating when we were both in college. "Dates" rarely involved going out to nice dinners, they were more often Cook-out followed by watching The Daily Show at one of our apartments. Now I am working and he is in Vet school, and really not much has changed. We really enjoy cooking together, especially grilling out and then taking our dogs to the dog park. Who said dates have to involve money?

When I do say "hey lets go out to dinner" from time to time, I pay, and he does the same when he initiates. It works well for us. But like others have said, I prefer from him to pay if we are in a group situation.

When a man pays the bill for a date with a woman with whom he is not on intimate terms, it may signify true generosity on his part, but more often it is a form of pressure to get the woman to "owe" him something, and that, ideally, that "something" would be a sexual favor. As such, it is absolutely demeaning to a woman to have a man with whom she is not already on intimate terms to offer to pay for a date, unless she can be absolutely certain that he is doing so out of true generosity.

In the interests of harmony, I would propose the following in an initial dating situation:

(1) Let the chips fall where they may -- whoever pays, pays.

(2) Let each payee keep itemized & receipted records for every expense on one's own behalf, and for every expense on behalf of the other.

(3) If and when expenses seem to be growing excessive, then make a reckoning. Is this person worthy of true generosity? Does this person perform any "favors" in return? If the answers are no, then:

(4) Prepare a bill for the expenses incurred, and send that bill to other person, via Certified Mail.

(5) If the bill is not honored within a reasonable period, and there is no valid counterclaim, then seek redress through an appropriate jurisdictional entity, such as a civil arbitrator, judicial magistrate, or justice-of-the-peace.

This would be the New Wave, a liberated approach consistent with the principle of true respect between the sexes.

I think the couple on the date should split the bill. If you are just beginning to date someone you shouldn't expect the other person to pay for you. If you always expect a man to pay instead of a woman then this is just another example of women being looked at as second class citizens. Women are just as equal as men and should be treated as such.

I've recently been on several blind dates, where we met online and the guy asks me out. I offer to split the bill, but usually he has had ordered and drank more than me and picked the restaurant. I also have to pay a babysitter $15 per/hr. I have only met one guy who didn't take me up on my offer to split the dinner tab and recognized that I had a $60 babysitter fee waiting for me at home. He is the guy that I dated again and we are now in a relationship. Most men think "it's easier to split the bill evenly." Frankly, if the guy, who usually earns much more than I do, does this, I feel it sets the tone going forward. One recent date ended up costing over $150 and I wasn't interested receiving any of his "favors."

If the two people make substantially the same amount of money, the costs should be shared rather evenly, with the man making the appropriate token gestures including a need to pay somewhat more than half the costs, spend more on flowers/gifts, pick up the tab on special occassions, etc.

If the woman is wealthier or has a much greater income than the man, then the woman should be willing to pay for the vast majority of dating expenses in the context of a serious relationship. The man should only pay for what he desires to pay for.

If the man is wealthier or has a much greater income than the woman, he should pay for everything.

It would never occur to me not to split costs as a default, though I wouldn't make a big deal of it if the man insisted on paying for the first *few* dates. (I can also see the reasoning behind "he who asks, pays.") Why *should* the man pay? If everything is going according to plan, we are having a good time together, equally enjoying each other's company!

F. Morana: I'm glad you think the fact that many men consider it their right to have sex in return for money spent on dates, regardless of what the women in question may feel, is so funny. I assure you the women raped on that basis do not.

I expect a man to pay for my dinner if he asks me out on a date, especially if it's a first date. If he doesn't pay for meal on the first date, it will be his last date with me. I'm a Southern Belle and not paying for a lady's dinner is just bad manners. I hate cheap men.

When the relationship becomes serious, I will chip in to pay.

If he doesn't have the money to take me out to dinner then he should be creative and invite me out on a date that doesn't require spending a lot of money. As long as the person's conversation is engaging and I'm having fun, I would still go out with him, again.

I am glad the person who writes this blog doesn’t mind paying. I wish more men were like you. I bet that you're married too. ;-) Kudos to you.

I agree with the "mean what you say" - yeesh. What a dating minefield.

I am 31 and I haven't dated since I was 18. (engaged/married since). But I always split the costs of dates 50/50. Of course we were just broke kids, and my dh was happy with that. I am sure I let a few guys pay for a first date, but by the second date I always offered to go 50/50. I can't say I would be upset if they wanted to pay here and there. But for the long run I rather pull my own weight. For the record, I have always been rather independent. So it would probably bug me if the guy always insisted on paying.

I had a discussion about this with girlfriends though and I don't think turning down a second date, with a guy who you disagree with on this issue, is a bad idea. I am really independent and I wanted a man who respected that. If I dated a man who was more into chivalry and paying, etc. than letting me feel a little more independent, it would be a BIG red flag. I have no interest in someone taking care of me. & dh clearly fit the bill (our dates were always very equitable as is our marriage). Most of my girlfriends on the other hand want someone to take care of them and would never date a guy who didn't pay for dates. For them, it is probably a huge red flag if the guy doesn't want to "take care of them." Likewise, you should do what you feel comfortable with, and it probably is a good way to weed through potential mates.

I would have to agree with the "say what you mean, mean what you say" sentiment - it's never made any sense to me why anyone (either a man or woman) would say they're willing to pay and then be upset about it when they're taken up on the offer.

Personally, I've never expected a man to pay for me when I've been out on a date. In a way it's nice that there are still gentlemen out there - BUT in another way, I almost find it offensive. Does he think I can't pay for myself? Does he think I'm old-fashioned?

My boyfriend and I have always worked it out so that it's pretty much even between us. Typically we'll both chip in for to pay for whatever we're doing, or we'll alternate. Am I really that different from other women out there?

I have normally paid with all my girlfriends, and now with my wife (though the money is 'ours', I still handle the transaction and currently I make nearly all the money). That said, I have obviously been treated to dinner by girlfriends on special occasions like my birthday. Also, sometimes my wife treats me to a date with some money she has socked away from her part-time jobs when she knows we don't really have the money in the budget for one or just wants me to feel special.

When I was a teen, if I recall, my girlfriend would sometimes offer to share costs if she had a little money since I was often broke. I also did date one girl a couple times who insisted on helping pay (like I got the dinner but she got the movies or something like that). I also believe I split the cost with a girl one other time I doubled, but that was mostly because I did not realize it was a date until later.

Funny story is that the first time I went out somewhere with my wife (a day after we started dating) was when she invited me to tag along with some mutual friends in something that was pre-planned. Anyway, I totally was not going to pay for her because I saw it as a group thing and not a date. Good thing I changed my mind and offered to get it because she told me she'd been offended if I hadn't!

Dating, we usually took turns paying. Now that we are married, I make significantly more than my husband and we still take turns "paying." He gets a kick out of saying that he is treating me even though we couldn't afford to go out on just his salary :)

It is funny, before you are married, the guy will pay for a date expecting something in return later that night. After you are married, the guy will pay for a date hoping to get out of having to do something later that night.

I'll be perfectly honest--I use the who-pays-on-the-first-date as a test of financial and personal compatibility. I offer and I mean it, but it tells me a lot about whether he's really my type. I'm mid-40's, single, successful, and lead a very full and happy life. I don't have time or energy to waste on moochers, and there are plenty of guys looking for sugar mamas--even guys with 6-figure incomes. My successful relationships have been with men who take turns with me financially, though I may be the one who initiates the first date.

I'll share the results of my social experiement: On a first date with a nice dinner, I always offer to pay--they can get the tip or the drinks if they want. The guy is almost always surprised by my offer. If the guy insists on paying the first time, I let him, though I may get the tip or pay for movies to keep it equitable. Those relationships have been very sweet for both of us. If the guy is caught off guard and allows me to pay for our first dinner but immediately offers our next date as his treat, well, those have been nice relationships, too. The guys who eagerly accept my offer to pay don't work out for me...for these reasons.

1. They tend to view allowing me to pay as payback for all the women in the world who cheerfully let them pay and pay and pay. In the relationship, I get blamed for everything wrong any other woman has ever done to them and they have lots of entitlement issues that I didn't see before the first date.
2. They tend to want me to do lots of favors for them--introduce them to a potential client, work on their projects for free, etc. They have a mindset of, again, entitlement.
3. I've never been comfortable with someone else taking care of me or paying my way. Maybe it's a matter of a psychological powerbase and I'm sure I could dig back into my childhood to find the inciting incident, but with my own mindset of "carry your own weight" and "it's okay to be a team but be fair," my personality doesn't mesh well with someone who, again, has a sense of entitlement to my time, money, energy, whatever fire I carry in me.

So from a financial standpoint, my offering to pay on a first date and how he responds is a great shortcut for finding out if the guy's more about entitlement or being a true partner with me.

I strongly resent and reject the misrepresentation of what I said, as put forth by   Sarah.

I've never had recourse to being harsh or unkind on this blog, but it seems to me that readers and respondents need to respond to what is actually said, and not merely to those painful thoughts that may flare-up as a result of one's own previous injuries.

I said, exactly, that "it is absolutely demeaning to a woman to have a man with whom she is not already on intimate terms to offer to pay for a date, unless she can be absolutely certain that he is doing so out of true generosity."

I absolutely expect a woman to pay her share beginning with the first date. I would like to meet the supposed 57% that claim they offer to pay. That is not my experience at all. I can say that when I share my opinion that the bill should be shared I am usually met with protests and entitled princess mentality- a good sign that person is not for me. In three years of dating 2-3 times a week I can count on one hand, not using all fingers, the number of women who offered and/or accepted to pay their share of the bill.

My tax dollars have been used to subsidize grants, programs, scholarships et al to promote women's education, health, social services et al for my entire working life. As a result, if a woman is unwilling to pay her share of the bill, than I am not interested. Living in New York City, the dating scene is very active, but it ceases to amaze me how many women are unwilling to ante up their share. Also, it seems to be the ones that earn more are the worst offenders of this equality principal. CEO's/Corp. Management/Financial Services, Doctors and Lawyers are the worst, whereas Nurses and those in Education are the best when it comes to sharing the costs.

It is very interesting to read. I grew up in a different country and it annoys me to no end when American guys expects me to pay on a date. I mean, if it works for both parties involved, great - but does not work for me at all. I tried and it was utter misery. The unisex expectations kill something very important in the beauty of sexual interaction, "sexual" being used in a broad sense here. Sure if it is a serious relationship or marriage than who cares, but in dating - puh-lease!

I wrote a song about it (I am a musician). Now that I let my anger out, I feel better LOL

Ooops, typo. I was typing away too passionately :)

I am in my mid-20s, and this issue has recently come up in my current relationship. While I don't expect the guy to pay for EVERYTHING, I do expect him to pay for more (a 70/30 ratio) out of simple chivalrous behavior. I don't think who makes what amount of income should have an affect on who pays, it should simply affect what you do for your dates. I have tried the "whoever makes the invite pays the bill" idea before, and the result of my experience was my boyfriend at the time decided to stop taking me out on dates. This could just be a flaw of his, or it could be a natural reaction of a guy when given this opportunity. Either way, I'm not trying that one again, and I don't suggest it. My current boyfriend recently questioned why I don't pay for more. I was angry at him for bringing this up, not because I am not willing to pay, but simply because I find it rude to even question me about it. I don't like to do things because someone has requested it of me...I feel that paying for a date is a gesture of etiquette and care for another. In conclusion, you GUYS need to get your act together and bring out the chivalry.

p.s. ANITA from March 13, 2008- Where in the world can you go to a $2 movie? I would be willing to waste the gas just to see this.

My GF of 2.5 months has yet to offer to pay for a single date/movie/anything.

One time she rented a movie with a coupon and it was $1 and she paid for that... the fact I even remember that shows you how little she has paid.

I'm late 20s she's mid 20s. I have a job and am doing my masters while she has a job an is working on her bachlors. My job is quite a bit better than hers.

Now my issue is this....

I'm trying to save up for a house and was making good progress on this until I got a GF. Now I pretty much break even each month with ZERO dollars going into savings. This bugs me because I make a fair amount of money for my age (yes I have a 'real' job/career).

I feel almost obligated to go out and do things since she wants to hang out EVERY weekend. If we just sit around Friday's or Saturday's it's kind of lame. Usually before dating her I'd just go to my buddies house and hang out. Watch a football game, have a few beers, maybe play some video games. Or even if i went out to the bar my max bar tab would be $20 or less. I usually drink beers and wahtever is on special for $2-3 and I don't put down more than a few even on a crazy night.

Then comes the GF...

Girls like the special/fruity drinks that are never on special and are $6.50-$9+ a pop... pretty much everything you do will now cost you double. Also I drive EVERYWHERE and when gas is $4+ a gallon it adds up.

Just recently I was diagnosed with a health problem that prevents my further consumption of alcohol. So if I go out to the bar I will probably getting a soda or water (lame i know...but i still want to go out with my buddies). So if my GF wants to order 3 or 4 drinks at $7/each and the bill shows up for $30 and all i've had is a water... that kind of irks me that most of the people on this site think I should be obligated to pay.

It's not even a matter of who asked who to do what because we normally decide what we are going to do together. It's not like i'm like, 'omg please come to the bar with me it'll be so fun' it's more like

what are we going to do tonight? i'm not sure, i think so and so said they were going out to this pool hall, that could be fun'

so it's like a joint decision, yet i always end up paying. Or she'll show up at my place and say shes hungry so we'll run to a get a quick bite and she'll order but never produce a credit card or any $$$. It's pretty annoying.

About the only thing is if we go out to the store to buy something and it's something she wants for herself she will actually pay (thank God).

Bottom Line: As weird/rude as it is for a girl to not have a guy pay for dinner/etc. It's equally as annoying to us that girls would actually expect that a guy would pay for everything.

If you want equal rights, you will have to pay for them too. You order food or drinks, you pay or at least offer. I don't even mind if a girl at least OFFERS or grabs a meal or drinks or something every 1 out of 10, but if you never do you are truely a (*%&#)(% and don't deserve a good guy to be with.

When men pay for my dinner it makes me feel like it's supposed to be some kind of prostitutional exchange. I'll sleep with you if I want to, not because I owe you something.

In any case, it's a stupid double-standard to expect the man to pay. Splitting the bill is the way to go.

Traditional mid-twenties girl here. I have noticed that nobody ever mentions to otherside of the coin when it comes to the old fashioned notion that the man must pay each time. Back in the day, a good and non-selfish girlfriend or wife would cook meals and take care of the man in other ways. Cooking meals is a fine way to help your boyfriend save money. What this leads to is a division of labor, and a balanced relationship. Girls who expect the guy to pay each time without cooking or doing something in return are just plain selfish and opportunistic.

Here is my simple but very effective system: the guy pays every time we are out, provided I cook the meals at home, and yes-I'll even pack his lunch for him. It makes the both of us feel special. He gets to act as my provider, and I get to take care of him in that special, feminine way. If the guy expects me to pay 50/50, then he can take turns with me for the cooking and other stuff done.

Easy, breezy, beautiful!

Having recently been widowed and dating again in my earlier 50's, I just dealt with the who pays for the date issue. I've been dating a woman for about a month and paid for the first 3 dates, all expenses, she never offered to pay for anything. By the fourth date I suggested she pay for some of our meals and I'd cover all the rest of the entertainment and expenses. This was uncomfortable for me to ask but seemed only fair since she liked eating out regularly and did not cook or want to eat at home. Worked out fine but when it came time for her to pickup the 3rd meal that weekend she pitched a fit. This was even though I had still picked up the tab for our entertainment and other expenses.

When I conforted her about the situation, she said she had misunderstood and thought she was only paying for one meal that weekend (even though she makes more money than me) the man had always paid her way on dates. I told her she was a luxury I couldn't afford. She then decides she doesn't want us to break up so she suggest we go dutch. I told her that I was too uncomfortable with this situation and that I wasn't going to keep tabs on who pays what or make her feel compelled to chip in if she didn't want to. I believe the man shoud pay for the first date or two, but after that the couple should have a discussion on how the relationship should be maintained regarding finances.

Married people should have joint finances, not singles. Therefore with today's economic situation there should be a frank discussion by the third date regarding how the relationship should be funded. I learned this lesson the hard way but I won't forget it. If a woman wants to sell sex, she should hit the streets, not manipulate decent men who are looking for companionship. Women have screamed for equal rights, so put up or shut up. Both benefit from a relationship so both should support it, until they are married and then the rules are different.

I am having a similar issue. Not too far from this situation. Here's my story...

I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year. He lives about 1 hour away from me but work 10 minutes away from me so I let him stay over. I would love to stay over his house but I happen to live closer to his job, family and friends plus he works about 7 days a week so my place is much more convenient.

I love his company as I love him and love being around him. We both own our places so its not easy to just sell and move in with each other during this economy however I do pay extra as far as utilities and other household goods for him staying/living with me and I have never asked him to help pay the difference for him staying over. Mind you, he saves on his own utilities because he is never home and saves a tremendous amount of money from less gas and wear and tear of his vehicle going to work from my home and he has never offered anything. Now here’s the problem. I was recently laid off and he still hasn’t offered to help pay for anything. It’s the same routine. I cook, he eats. He’s thirsty, he drinks. All toiletries, he uses. And, uses the water to (S, S and S) - wink.

When we dine out now he pays majority of the bill because of my situation (so what I thought), however prior to me being laid off I would make sure the costs were pretty much even. I brought it up to his attention that I need help and that he should contribute only to what he uses. He disagrees. He feels that he is already compensating by paying for the majority of our dining out which is about twice a week. I totally disagree and now he’s staying at his place.

What do you think?

For me, I think during first dates it should be the guy who pays for the bill even though the girl invited her. On the following dates, it would be either the boy or the girl, you know taking turns. Or to avoid any issues the couple must go on dutch or paying the bill between the two of them.

i belive that guys should pay no matter what. cause there supposed to impress us by payin

I used to blindly accept the "guys should pay" mentality and I would always pay for everything on dates. From the first date to the 1000th date. After objectively analyzing this "tradition",I came to the conclusion that a man or a woman should pay for the other party only if they want to,out of generosity, and not because they have to or feel obligated. Nowadays, I expect 50/50 on the first date and every date after that. I will communicate this before even going out with the person. However, I will pay sometimes as a kind gesture and I will let the woman pay every now and then, as well. I know that splitting hurts my chances of getting a second date, but you know what?, I do not care at this point. I work hard to earn my money and I wil decide how, when and with whom I spend it. I will not let some old-fashioned sexist tradition dictate how I handle my finances. People give a lot of lip service to the notion of equality between men and women, but when it comes down to it, few step up to the plate. On the bright side, by going "dutch" I weed out all those women with delusions of entitlement. I REFUSE TO BE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF FINANCIALLY AND SO SHOULD YOU.

I enjoyed it when a guy offered to pay, but I always offered to cover myself (and meant it).

When my husband and I were dating, he kept paying for everything in those first few months, so I started sneaking $20 bills into his wallet so he wouldn't go broke (we both worked part-time during college). He caught me a few months after I started doing that and we had a pretty good laugh. He told me later that he really appreciated it and was happy he wasn't losing his mind (he noticed the extra cash once in a while, but kept thinking he just overlooked it before).

For the next few years, we just took turns. Once we got married, it's pretty much whoever has the easiest access to their purse/wallet...

I am a traditional girl. I do think of guys as leaders and if ever will date one I will look for one who has the potential to be a good leader and the head of a family.

If he does not pay for the first date, I will think of him as stinky cheap. After three months and when the relationship becomes serious, I will offer to pay the bills sometimes in order to help him. My advice is for guys to wait till the girl offers, then it should be ok. Do not ask the girl to pay. Personally, I do get offended when guys ask me to pay. Even my dad tells me that it should be the guys who should pay and he is impolite and does not have a backbone if he ask the girl to pay. If he does not have money then he should not be asking to go to restaurant or watch movies. He should just ask to go to a free public park or write cards or pick up flowers from his backyard or draw a picture of me.
If the guy don't have money, then they should plan for something romantic activity that does not need paying bills. If you are a guy and you do not like to pay for restaurant date fees, why don't you cook instead and bring it to the girl's place and you can have a good quality time today.

Again, guys should not ask girls to pay if they can't pay then they should not ask girls to go out for movies or restaurants. If it will be a different story if it was the girl who asks then at which time maybe she could pay if she offers

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