Is it Mine or Is It God’s?

For those of you new to Free Money Finance, I post on The Bible and Money every Sunday. Here's why.

The following is an excerpt from the book DoesYour Bag Have Holes.

A couple of years ago, my wife and I purchased a home in the mountains. Although we love our home, our backyard was an undeveloped mountainside, a dangerous play area for our children. To solve this problem, we decided to build two rock retaining walls on the mountain to create a large grass playing field below our home. I called a friend in the landscaping business for a bid of the cost of the project. He estimated it would cost $40,000. Our friend agreed to start on the project the following week, so we wrote him a check for $20,000 to cover the expenses of the subcontractors to build the retaining walls. 

As it turned out, our friend was experiencing financial difficulties and spent the $20,000 on items other than the renovating of our yard. He hid this from my wife and me for months, continually telling us he would start in a few weeks. Since we loved and trusted him, we never suspected him of dishonesty. When we finally discovered the truth, the summer was over, our yard was still undeveloped, and we were out $20,000. It was frustrating for us, and we were unsure of the most appropriate way to handle the situation.

As I pondered how to respond, the Lord’s Prayer came to my mind, “Give us this day our daily bread.” (Matthew 6:11, King James Version) Reading this passage helped me realize that everything we have comes from God, so nothing that we have is really ours. God gave me the $20,000, so the money our friend had taken was not mine, but the Lord’s.

The prayer continues, “forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. . . For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matthew 6:12,14–15, King James Version) I also read the parable the Savior taught in answer to Peter’s questions about how often he should forgive. In this parable, a servant was forgiven by the king a debt of 10,000 talents (60 million pence, approximately $3 billion in 2006 value). “But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: [approximately $5,000 in 2006 values] and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest. And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt.” (Matthew 18:28–30, King James Version)

As I read these passages, the thought came into my mind that I should forgive this $20,000 debt. I recalled many of my own trespasses the Lord had forgiven. Shouldn’t I exercise the same compassion and mercy toward my friend? The Lord had forgiven me of debts far greater than $20,000, and He provided me with the $20,000 in the first place.

I called our friend to discuss the situation. He apologized for his dishonesty and for the pain and frustration he had caused our family. He said that he wanted to return our money and that he didn’t have the money currently, but if we were patient with him, he would eventually pay us back. I read him the Lord’s Prayer and the Lord’s parable on forgiveness and told him that the debt was forgiven. He initial resisted the idea saying, “$20,000 is a lot of money; I must pay you back. I cannot take your money.” I explained that the money was not mine, but the Lord’s. It was not me, but the Lord, who was forgiving the debt. He thanked me, expressing what a help this was to him and his four children. I showed appreciation for his gratitude, but asked that he direct his thanks not to me, but to the Lord. 

We are often caught up in the “mine, mine, mine” mentality, allowing greed and selfishness into our hearts. Once we can say “It is the Lord’s” instead of “It is mine” we are freed from the attachment to treasures that can be corrupted by rust or taken by thieves. (Matthew 6:19)

Comments

[m3kp]

Stories like this really get me thinking about my own attitudes with money. Thanks for posting.

[Katy Raymond]

My husband and I had a very similar situation happen to us a few years ago. I understand that forgiving the friend is important, but it makes me sad that the friendship doesn't seem quite the same now. The element of trust has been lost, and I guess it will take a while to rebuild it....

[Mike]

That is very big of you and I applaud you doing what you believe to be right. I hope that person won't repeat this kind of thing!

[PatatrooperJJ]

That's why contractors keep doing that. people forgive them. He needs to be sued into extinction.

[Rick]

Patatrooper: Did you forget the verse mentioned in the article where Jesus told Peter to forgive his brother seventy-seven times (symbolic for an unlimited number of times)? If the contractor "keeps doing that", that transgression is between him and God. It is up to us to keep forgiving him.

I'm also reminded of the verses in 1 Corinthians 6, where we are admonished not to take our brother to court. If our brother has wronged us, it might not seem "fair" to forgive him. But we don't live on worldly terms. Life isn't fair, and it wasn't fair of Jesus to die on the cross for us. We live for a higher calling, not just to make as much money as we can here on earth, but to live for Jesus.

[Mike W]

I have been taking a class (Faith Bible Institute.. great program I suggest your church looks into it.. Not affiliated with them, just taking it through my church. 6 semester program that takes 3 years and covers the entire Bible and many key doctrines). We just finished up Romans in our New Testament section and I think seeing this parable and Jesus' instruction to Peter is much easier now..

In Romans 6 we are told how to die to our old selves and how to be alive in Christ. I think of the verse in Gal (2:20) where Paul was talking about how he was no longer living his life himself but through Christ. I often struggle with trying to do that, trying to live through Christ. Which means I would struggle doing something like this, or doing many of the things I should do.

It actually makes a lot more sense with Romans 6. Go and read it and pick up a good commentary on it!!! It outlines a 4 step process on how to be dead to self and alive to Christ. And it can be summed as "It aint me, babe". If we have asked Christ to forgive our sins, it is already done. We are dead to our old selves (the drunk, the porn viewer, the bigot, the idolator, the easy going nice guy who tried to do good but hated the Lord, whatever the old you happens to be). When Christ was crucified, we were with him, when he was buried so was that old nature (dead and buried) when he raised from the grave, so did our new nature and not by our power but by His power.

So the steps are to Know this (Know ye..) to Count this, to truly believe it deep down inside (Reckon ye..).. Stop living the old way and start living the "new" way (Yield ye.. You know how you gave into sin? You need to be weak in that same way, but submit to God instead of sin.. See.. It isn't about strength and our strength. Our strength is non-existent with matters like this, so yield to God and let Him let you live for Him..) And finally Obey God's commands and live for him.

So I could never do this, I would want to do this, get frustrated with my inability to do and then probably at the end of the day feel alright with myself because I really wanted to and next time I will. (which means the pattern would repeat and I would be stuck in Romans 7 where Paul shows how rotten it is to be in that spot where you don't live as you want to live, or as you think you want to live and instead live for self or sin).

But you know what? The Lord can do this, the Spirit can do this and if we submit to the Holy Spirit and let Him control our lives then WE can and will do something like this or any other area where obedience is often tough. So it's not our power that let's us serve as we should but our weakness and submission that does.

[AdamC]

you guys are wacked. just sue the bastard. jk, i think.

[AdamCO]

although this gives me hope that Christians might someday join the left and support forgiving the debt of developing nations.

[Nomad SF]

I'm not religious, but I really like this story. We aren't born with anything and we don't die with anything, so as long as we're not starving, we shouldn't be so possessive and greedy with the things that we have in between.

I have a policy never to lend money, but rather to give it to my friends and let them pay it back (or pay it forward) if they have the opportunity. This builds better relationships rather than stress over who owes what, and it's payed off in much bigger ways than just financially. $20k is a lot, but if you sue, a lawyer will probably get most of it and you'll get a lot more stress.

[Aju]

Dear FMF

I have a doubt...I've been thinking of lending on prosper.. but I'm not sure if its biblical.. is it against Gods will to lend money?

[lindsay]

This was the first post I read on this site. I will not be visiting this site again. I understand the importance of god and forgiving, but this response is horrible. Total crap!!

[mbhunter]

Wow. I lost about $500 to a seller on eBay and I don't think my response was as mature. Very convicting. Thanks for posting.