Ranks of Homeless Growing and Giving Fatigue

Here are a couple money related pieces I ran into today that I thought you'd be interested in. The first talks about many people that once would never face homelessness are now finding themselves on the streets:

Barbara Harvey climbs into the back of her small Honda sport utility vehicle and snuggles with her two golden retrievers, her head nestled on a pillow propped against the driver's seat.

A former loan processor, the 67-year-old mother of three grown children said she never thought she'd spend her golden years sleeping in her car in a parking lot.

Harvey was forced into homelessness earlier this year after being laid off. She said that three-quarters of her income went to paying rent in Santa Barbara, where the median house in the scenic, oceanfront city costs more than $1 million. She lost her condo two months ago and had little savings as backup.

"It went to hell in a handbasket," she said. "I didn't think this would happen to me. It's just something that I don't think that people think is going to happen to them is what it amounts to. It happens very quickly, too."

Harvey now works part time for $8 an hour, and she draws Social Security to help make ends meet. But she still cannot afford an apartment, and so every night she pulls into a gated parking lot to sleep in her car, along with other women who find themselves in a similar predicament.

Just a couple quick thoughts here:

1. This is why we all work to save, grow our incomes, spend less than we earn, etc. -- so we won't ever find ourselves at age 67 with no money at all.

2. Why doesn't this lady simply move to a lower-cost-of-living city? Is living in a car in Santa Barbara better than living in a decent home in Cincinnati? (or Kansas City? or Indianapolis?) It sure isn't to me.

The second piece talks about how Americans are getting "donor fatigue" from all the needs in the world:

The numbers are almost too large to fathom, so many stop trying. As bodies pile up in disaster after global disaster, even the most sympathetic souls can turn away.

Charities know this as "donor fatigue," but it might be more accurately described as disaster fatigue — the sense that these events are never-ending, uncontrollable and overwhelming. Experts say it is one reason Americans have contributed relatively little so far to victims of the Myanmar cyclone and China's earthquake.

Ironically, the more bad news there is, the less likely people may be to give.

I'm not sure this is the case why people aren't giving to aid Myanmar and China. My take is that giving to Myanmar is low because the government there is either taking the aid or not letting it in. And for China, I think many people see China as a big/wealthy enough country to handle its own problems.

Comments

[WesleyTech.com]

Don't forget that the US economy is currently in a down-swing or even a recession. People are less likely to give with the current economic conditions.

[rob]

It is amazing where we can find ourselves with just one or two step in the wrong direction.
Spent 3 yrs in minivan in Tx , cause of some 'down turns' , wrong age colour heigth experiences etc in job market.
Took a lot on of reassesing the situtation to get out of the holes and never go back.
A rainy day is just around the corner.

As for helping others, why can't we work on the manure we have in our own country first?

[Trent D.]

FMF, my reaction to the "sleeping in a car in Santa Barbara" situation was exactly your own.

I remember a Dilbert cartoon where a character was sitting around thinking about solving the world's problems. His thought process: "If people are starving in Africa, why don't they move to France?". It was funny at the time, but in this case, it really does apply.

She needs to pack up and MOVE. California is a strange world because many people there can't fathom life in the "flyover area" between LA and NYC, but those who do move realize they can do much better elsewhere. And you can find an $8 an hour job anywhere in the nation.

Also - her three adult children - why hasn't one of them taken her in? That's unacceptable - I don't want my mother or my mother-in-law to "crash my party", but if they were living in a car...good grief.

FMF, I'm also surprised you missed an opportunity to criticize her pet ownership - two dogs and no house!

[FMF]

Trent --

You're right! I missed the dogs! Doh!

I should have posted a piece titled "Dogs Drive Woman to Homelessness." That would have certainly gotten people riled up. ;-)

[Matt N]

Perhaps I just a heartless jerk, but I have little sympathy for people like this. It seems like her situation is a product of her own bad choices, that she is still making I might add, rather than a malevolent or uncaring society that has tossed her away as so many of these types of articles try to suggest.

As was already pointed out, why is she 67 and has absolutely no retirement savings? Why is she spending 3/4 of her income on rent when nearly anyone with a modicum of financial knowledge knows you shouldn't be spending more than 30%. Why hasn't she moved to a place in the country with cheaper rents? Why is she still supporting 2 pets when she can't support herself? Why is she not seeking assistance from her children? Why is she not collecting social security, which she ought to qualify for?

The list just goes on and on. At nearly any point, this woman could probably pick up and move and drastically increase her quality of life, yet she remains in this situation by her own choice. I have little sympathy for a person like that.

[Kevin]

MattN - she is collecting SS and her kids live overseas, except for one 19 year old daughter who the article says is living w/friends.

She could move here to Missouri and probably live off just her SS, like my Grandma does. I know moving isn't the easiest thing, but it sure as hell beats living in a car.

[Trent D.]

Kevin,

She's already packed!

Okay, that was just bad...

[Todd]

Agree with FMF on Burma and China.

As for the lady in Santa Barbara, her present situation appears to be, based on what little information is given in the excerpt, entirely the result of her own choices. I don't feel any sympathy for her at all.

[rwh]

I have an elderly aunt that I'm helping to support. My wife and I send her money each month to supplement her SS. We also send her a set amount each month out of my parent's estate to pay her utility and repair bills (obviously that's our money too, but we designated a portion for our aunt when we received it).

My aunt is one of those people that didn't make a lot of money but also spent every dime she ever had. She won't move out of her crumbling house in her economically depressed town. She should be in an apartment either in her town or mine. But I can't force her unless I stop giving her money, but at this point I don't think she will live much longer and I don't have the heart to make her move out of a house she has lived in for almost 70 years.

I don't know how much of it is environment and how much is genetic. In my aunt's case I think she was just born lacking the common sense gene. The lady in California sounds like the same type. I'm just glad I can afford to help.

[cynner]

Hmmm, let's see...the woman profiled in the article is 67, raised 3 children and is still working. Yet based on very little background information, she gets no sympathy at all and is deemed lacking common sense. None of you have any idea of what has happened in this woman's life.

The lesson here is in what she and the counselor said, "it can happen to anybody", and all you can do is try to be prepared and pray that it won't.

I hope every life decision you make always turns out to be the absolute best and results in your continued health, wealth and happiness.

[LotharBot]

The counselor is right that "it can happen to anybody"... but that obscures the important truth of the matter: some people put themselves in a position where it's LIKELY, or even EXPECTED, to happen to them.

Some read this article and decide to pity the woman. I read the article and decide to teach others how to keep themselves out of the same situation. It's not a matter of making every life decision "the absolute best", just a matter of not making colossal blunder atop colossal blunder, and a matter of being willing to make tough cutbacks when needed. The headline on the article says "mom forced to live in car", but it should say "mom makes series of bad decisions that lead her to living in car". One of the most important things we can do is educate ourselves and others about how to avoid making the same series of bad decisions.

Spending 3/4 of your income on rent is a bad decision. There's always someplace to live cheaper -- a boarding house, a shared apartment, or maybe even a pretty nice place in a cheap city. Working for $8/hour and drawing on social security is enough for a single person to find a place to live, though not necessarily in Santa Barbara.

Having "little savings", especially by age 67, is a bad decision. I phrased it that way intentionally -- it's not bad luck, it's a bad decision. Even people working for minimum wage and raising children can find ways to save up over time.

Keeping two pets when one is struggling to get by is a bad decision. Pets are expensive, and they don't like living in a van down by the river any more than you do. Find someone to take care of them...

Like others (Matt N, Trent D) have said, there are numerous ways in which she could get out of the situation she's in, and there are numerous ways in which she very likely could've avoided it in the first place. It's sad that she's in that situation, but throwing her a pity party is of no value. The least we can do is learn from her mistakes, and help others do the same.

[LotharBot]

The counselor is right that "it can happen to anybody"... but that obscures the important truth of the matter: some people put themselves in a position where it's LIKELY, or even EXPECTED, to happen to them.

Some read this article and decide to pity the woman. I read the article and decide to teach others how to keep themselves out of the same situation. It's not a matter of making every life decision "the absolute best", just a matter of not making colossal blunder atop colossal blunder, and a matter of being willing to make tough cutbacks when needed. The headline on the article says "mom forced to live in car", but it should say "mom makes series of bad decisions that lead her to living in car". One of the most important things we can do is educate ourselves and others about how to avoid making the same series of bad decisions.

Spending 3/4 of your income on rent is a bad decision. There's always someplace to live cheaper -- a boarding house, a shared apartment, or maybe even a pretty nice place in a cheap city. Working for $8/hour and drawing on social security is enough for a single person to find a place to live, though not necessarily in Santa Barbara.

Having "little savings", especially by age 67, is a bad decision. I phrased it that way intentionally -- it's not bad luck, it's a bad decision. Even people working for minimum wage and raising children can find ways to save up over time.

Keeping two pets when one is struggling to get by is a bad decision. Pets are expensive, and they don't like living in a van down by the river any more than you do. Find someone to take care of them...

Like others (Matt N, Trent D) have said, there are numerous ways in which she could get out of the situation she's in, and there are numerous ways in which she very likely could've avoided it in the first place. It's sad that she's in that situation, but throwing her a pity party is of no value. The least we can do is learn from her mistakes, and help others do the same.

[Trent D.]

Regardless of how she found herself in this situation, she has a way out. Fill up the gas tank (which she can apparently do, because she can drive to work), and drive inland. Go to Kansas, Missouri, a small town in Colorado - wherever the cost of living is low low low...and start over.

Call in favors from friends - find one you can shack up with (platonically, of course) for a short time - start banking some money and go with it.

Unfortunately she'll probably be working the rest of her life since she has no savings. She needs to make the decision now to cut her losses and try something different.

[ammbd]

i'd like to point out to all the excessively judgmental commenters here that none of us know the whole story here, and while personal foresight, planning & responsibility but the entire family are preferred - Life Happens. best hope when it happens to you some one give you a hand UP rather than a kick while your down.

[Todd]

No one is giving her a kick. But why feel sorry for someone (which doesn't do that person any good) who decided to spend 3/4s of her income on rent and who decided that she had to live in Santa Barbara? Her choices are her own, and they are ruinous.

[irina]

I always think that I might become homeless. I don't know how though.. I can't lose my job, I own it.. The only way I can become homeless is if I become totally disabled and unable to do any kind of work at all.. hmmm... not nice.. but possible... I considered a disability insurance, but I came to conclusion that if I invest the money myself instead of paying the premiums, I'd do better. All insurances to me a mysterious black holes that gobble your money and then... LOL.. you need to fight them to get some .. if a disaster strikes..

[Trent D.]

ammbd said --"i'd like to point out to all the excessively judgmental commenters here that none of us know the whole story here..."--

Thank you for your judgmental opinion of my judgmentalness ;)

One would think that she would tell the whole story, and if there were any key items (massive medical bills, for instance) that drove her to live in her car, it would have been included in the story.

There are obvious things that she could be doing instead of languishing in her car every night - that's what we "judgmental commenters" are saying. But we live in a world where nobody but George W. Bush should be criticized for anything they do, so I can't blame you for holding the opinion you do.

[Todd]

Well, I think it's probably all right to criticize Dick Cheney, too.

[irina]

I just read rwh comment re: supporting his aunt. And I want to add that I support my husband. We live together, of course, and he has an advanced stage of Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy and has been unable to earn income for years. And I might add, it feels so good that I do and I can support him. And we have plenty money for our needs with me only working. I donate my event entertainment services to numerous charities for free.

And when we had less money than today, we lived in a trailer (in Florida). After a succession of rental apartments, we now own a beautiful condo and can afford our mortgage just fine. But we still remember fondly our trailer years. Our rent was $300. Trailer living is not for everyone but it was fine with us.

Of course we don't have children, it would be harder. But I am sure we would figure out something if we had.

[Pauline]

I agree with your assessment of the donation situation in China and Myanmar.

I'm still wrestling with donating to Chinese earthquake relief because of its wealth -- and because I don't want to sponsor brand new Audis for party officials.

[J in FL]

FMF, you're right on--and I think it's the sentiment of many--about the government in Myanmar and our perceptions of China.

Plus, things aren't going so great in our country either, economically speaking.

[Steve]

You are right on about China. That reminds me of an article I read a while back in The Economist (10/28/06 edition). (At that time) China had over $1 TRILLION in reserves -- and it's still growing at a rate of $16 billion per month. And want to know where they are socking all that money in to? Yep, about 70% of it is in US Treasury securities. They do that because spending the money on their own infrastructure would devalue the yuan against the dollar, and they would lose reserve money in the process (read the whole article for more info). So why should Americans donate charity to bail out China when it won't spend that outrage surplus money on its own people -- and all the while, China may very well be paying for the infrastructure of your very own neighborhood...

Want to do more? Let's help ourselves!

[Rick]

I agree with Steve. Maybe this goes along with the "donor fatigue", but it's a fact that the world will always have problems. I'm not sure it's our responsibility to help everyone out. Look at Iraq. It had problems. But now look at the mess we're in for trying to step in and fix them. I believe our own country had enough problems to focus all our resources on. We should improve our own country first. There are plenty of people in poverty, people dying from abuse, etc. in our own country.

[John]

2 comments:

1) This woman is driving a Honda. Remember the bumper sticker from the 1980s that said "Hungry? Eat Your Import"? That is how I feel here. I live in Kansas City and we have two auto plants that make quality cars and support American jobs and American ownership of the profits from those cars. I have zero sympathy for people who drive imported cars (or cars built by foreign companies) who contributed to the economic mess we are in ($1 trillion annual trade deficits, foreign sovereign wealth funds, etc.)

2) Why should Americans help China? The Chinese government is sitting on a mountain of American dollars from their trade surpluses with us. Is this money off limits for the Chinese to use? Or is it ONLY for buying up more American assets in this country and other assets around the globe? We owe them nothing. They are a growing, prosperous economic power and they can divert money from their military buildup and asset-buying spree to take care of their own population.

[Paul]

Back to Steve's post -- so the Chinese invest their trillion+ surplus in US treasuries in order to keep the value of their yuang strong against the dollar? That's interesting because that means that the interest they are getting on that money comes from US taxpayers. So we are already feeding China a mountain of money as interest, that they pump back into our treasury notes, generating more interest paid for by the US taxpayers, and so on.

Does *anyone* feel badly about not donating money to the Chinese? It seems like we all already have, and then some!

[Sarah]

I'm sorry, but if you genuinely have "no sympathy at all" for a law-abiding senior citizen still working and living in a car, regardless of the degree to which her errors in judgment may have contributed to her circumstances, then you are fundamentally broken. You "choose" not to pity her? You find compassion for your fellow humans that expensive? Even when no one is asking you to back it with your money?

Any of you who have posted such remarks and claim to be Christians ought to be ashamed of yourselves. A woman like this is also made in the image of God, and she is one of the people you are commanded to care for. If you think her judgment is bad from your point of view, imagine how your judgment looks from God's. Are you expecting greater mercy from Him than you are willing to give to other people? Perhaps you should reread Matthew 18: "Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?"

[rwh]

Irina:

You have my sympathies regarding your husband. I hope nothing but the best for you.

I don't mind helping out my aunt. She has a heart of gold even if her head isn't exactly on straight.

Cynner:

You're right, I don't know the woman and the lacking common sense comment was uncalled for. I withdraw it.

[Todd]

Thanks for the sermon. The lady deserves what she gets. At least she can't breed anymore.

But I feel sorry for her dogs. They are suffering through no fault of their own, but because of her idiocy. Man's best friend deserves better.

[LotharBot]

It's not quite correct to say that I choose not to pity her. A better statement is that I choose not to wallow in pity -- I choose not to begin and end my thoughts regarding her with "oh, poor woman, that must be so hard, I feel so bad for you, oh woe is me because of your state *SOB*" I certainly do feel an emotional twinge whenever I hear of someone in such a circumstance -- but I am not such a fool as to get stuck in that emotional place. (Nor am I such a fool as to get emotional in the opposite direction, as some here have -- I won't get angry at her or call her an idiot; as you said, that's a sign of someone who is fundamentally broken.)

My emotions do NOTHING to help her... but my advice can do something to help her and others in similar circumstances. Christ didn't command us to pity the poor; He commanded us to care for them. And a big part of caring for them is teaching them how to most wisely use the resources they have.

I have a number of poor friends, including several who have lived in shelters or group homes, and NONE of them benefit from me getting emotional over them. But the ones I've been close to HAVE benefited, partly from my helping them with financial assistance, and partly from my NOT giving them money but giving them advice on how best to use the money they already had. That's why I'm focusing on advice rather than pity or anger -- it's the most worthwhile thing I can give.

[Sarah]

Actually, I think most humans benefit from the expression of sympathy and compassion. Imagine being this woman, downtrodden as she is, and happening to read all these comments from people blaming her for being in her situation. Now imagine happening to read comments from people who are touched by her story. Do you think there's no difference? Do you think your poor friends only take heart from your advice, and not from the compassion with which you offer it? (And do you think you yourself do not become a better person by cultivating compassion in your heart?)

Todd, I would respond in more detail, but I think life will ultimately hand you the rebuttal on that one. Although I imagine when you run into your own hard patch in life, you'll have plenty of reasons why it's not your fault and you don't deserve what you get. No one deserves to be living in a car as they head towards their 70s. No one.

[Todd]

Who else is to blame for her situation? George Bush? The Pope? The Devil? Liberal dingbats who encourage irresponsible behavior?

She made the stupid decisions that resulted in her precarious situation, so she should face the consequences.

As far as her "deserving to live in a car," of course she deserves it. She's made the choice to do just that.

[LotharBot]

"Imagine being this woman, downtrodden as she is, and happening to read all these comments from people blaming her for being in her situation. Now imagine happening to read comments from people who are touched by her story. Do you think there's no difference?"

I think there's plenty of difference.

In the case of compassion-without-blame, she's likely to feel justified to wallow in self-pity. She's likely to feel as though she's a victim who deserves a handout, as though she should just expect someone else to come along and pull her out of her bad situation. She's likely to feel as though she doesn't deserve it and therefore is entitled to whine and complain and wait for the universe to bail her out.

Whereas, if she reads and listens to the advice I've given out of compassion, she's likely to look at her situation, recognize she has some outs, and make the changes she needs to. She's likely to realize that, whatever situation she's in, she has the power to change it. And others are likely to realize that they can make different choices in order to keep themselves out of the same situation. (Whether she "deserves" it is not the issue; it's what decisions she made to get there that she can change to put herself in a better place.)

I'm not saying compassion is a bad thing; you seem to be misreading me. The only reason I bother giving advice is because I care about bringing people out of those situations. Advice MUST come from compassion; again, those who are taking shots out of spite or hate or pride or whatever are "fundamentally broken". But you can't get so stuck on compassion and emotion that you forget sound financial principles; it's worthless to wish her well without giving her the tools to become well (see James 2:16). Your well wishes must accompany a recognition of how her past and present choices contribute to her situation, and what her future choices can change, or they are worthless.