If Shopping is Your Passion, then Get Another Hobby

The following is an excerpt from In The Trenches: Financial Survival During Times of Hardship. One suggestion to add to what's below: you may want to turn your hobby from an expense into an income producer.

There’s one thing we can agree on. Shopping costs money. Even if you go out with the best of intentions, a list, and a maximum limit it is oh so easy to spend more. As you bring home all your treasures and put them away the sense of accomplishment almost out shouts the small feeling that you spent more than you should have.

I for one am not much of a shopper but every few years I can go out and spend thousands. I guess I save up my shopping tendency and have occasional blowouts where I lose it and buy all the things I have thought of for the last 10 years.

Even though I am not a regular shopper I have known many people who are and these are my conclusions after many years of observation. Maybe you will see yourself and having once done so you can develop a plan for cutting down.

• Shopping is a social event. Malls are one of the few places that still welcome children and they don’t even have to behave well. As long as they think that you might spend money they invite you to come on in. Friends are also welcome. Just make a phone call and your best friend can join you for an evening of fun. And best of all, you can get all dressed up or come as you are.

• Regain your power. This sounds strange but I have seen it often. A break up with a boyfriend. A job lay-off. Even the rumor of a lay-off. All of these things make a person feel like they have lost some of the power over their lives. It causes a person to realize that despite all that we hear about taking charge of our lives there are some things outside of our control and the people who have control don’t always treat us the way we want or deserve to be treated. But since we cannot always change these events we shop to take charge of our lives and soothe our bruised or broken ego. Sometimes this is okay. A new haircut, a workout program at the gym, a new wardrobe, all of these things are good for us and maybe we should have done it long ago. But we can’t ignore the financial impact it has, especially if we pull out the charge card to do it. If we do come home and haven’t spent anything we can still pat ourselves on the back because we have held on to our money and we can tell ourselves that we exercised self-discipline.

• Compensate for our inability to achieve the other things. When we feel like or know that we can’t afford the more expensive things we need or want we try to compensate by finding something we like and get that instead to try and cover our feelings of hopelessness. An extreme example is those who live in deplorable housing conditions but have a beautiful new car. They feel they can’t afford to make a $1,500 month house payment but they can pay a $500 per month car payment. They drive the car proudly to show to themselves and the world that they are somebody. But that is the extreme. Maybe you can’t relate. How about when you can’t afford the house of your dreams so you lavish your apartment with dynamite furnishings? Getting closer? Or, how about the bills are too high so you go to a restaurant or the grocery store and find the best steak you can’t really afford? This last example is probably the most common because it is so easy to rationalize. But the more often you indulge this feeling the farther you will be from your long-term goals. Why is it indulgent? Because it is a substitute for your bigger goals and is out of balance with your overall financial situation.

• Boredom. Shopping provides some instant gratification and is a lot easier than sitting home every Friday night.

• Laziness. Sounds terrible and if this is you you’ll be tempted to say it’s not. But maybe after consideration you can name someone who falls in this category. Shopping really doesn’t require much creativity. The stores have worked hard to coordinate all the clothing, linens, and even the make-up. But the trick is that it is set up so that we feel creative as we pick up all the items and put them together. Another form of laziness is that most people I know that are avid shoppers don’t have any or few other interests that they pursue. Whether it is calligraphy, reading, sewing, or scuba diving, all of these things take effort and time to study and become good at. Shopping is easy. All you have to do is look, pick, and pull out your wallet.

• Creativity. I know that I said that little creativity is involved but by the same token it can be extremely creative to shop 100 stores just to find the exact right piece of furniture to go in that empty corner of the living room. So it is just as valid to say that people use shopping to explore and fulfill their creativity.

• To relieve tension. There are times when shopping can be a mental and emotional release from the problems and day to day routines we all have. A time to just look around. To remember our dreams and goals. A time to make some new goals and figure out what we will do with that awful kitchen. Even if our dream kitchen never comes to reality it was good just to have dreamed it and refreshes us to go back home to do the dishes.

These are the biggest reasons I have observed why people shop. None of them are bad. But in order to reach our financial goals we have to look at how we spend our money and decide if we are maximizing our assets, time, and resources.

If we want to cut down our spending or maximize our dollars we have to see why we are shopping and try to fulfill those emotional needs within our budget. But why now refer to them as emotional needs? Didn’t you notice how often I used the word “feel” when referring to why we shop. The word feel indicates that it is our emotions and not our actual physical needs or logic that drive us to the mall. That is why so often we have things that we hardly use, don’t need, and wonder why we bought it in the first place. The bright pink blouse that matches nothing – we needed to feel cheerful. The black dress we have worn twice? We may have felt bad and the dress expressed our feelings at the time. Or the jazzy party dress? We wish we went out more. These are just speculations but it is easy to see how we can buy things to express how we feel, compensate for how we feel, or show how we want to feel or who we wish we were. I have a pair of new ballet shoes that I bought, took one lesson, but can’t seem to get rid of because it would be really cool to be a ballerina. Go ahead and laugh then check your own closets and see what strange and wonderful things you have hidden away.

The reasons people are passionate about shopping are many. But there is one solution that applies to all: Get a hobby. The word itself is almost obsolete and comes from past generations. Therefore, we have to look to past generations to get some ideas of what a good hobby might be. The one criteria required for our purpose is that the hobby must require more time than money. Many modern day activities involve more money than time. The reason is simple. We are introduced to them by the companies selling the pieces, parts, and equipment to perform the hobby. Even Christmas now is primarily promoted by the stores.

Below are some ideas for lower cost hobbies. If they are totally new then consider it an adventure to shop for a hobby. Try them all on to see how they fit before deciding it’s not for you. Also, remember that many of these involve acquiring a skill. At first it will take some work and mistakes and maybe frustration before you get the hang of it. You probably won’t be good at it at first. Start with a minimum investment and set yourself a limit you can afford before you go hobby shopping. You don’t want a lot of half finished projects around the house but on the other hand if you spend $20 on your new test hobby and spend weeks of evenings at home before you decide you hate it and toss it aside you still have probably saved a lot of money by not going shopping.

So here are the ideas:

1. Read to your children. Let them read to you.
2. Embroidery.
3. Learn to play bridge and teach your best friends.
4. Knitting.
5. Yard work.
6. Crochet.
7. Play board games.
8. Paint-by-the-number. (You don’t have to create a masterpiece. Just have fun.)
9. Models.
10. Make doll clothes from scrap material.
11. Walk and keep track of how far you walk.
12. Bird Watching. Get a book and mark and date the ones you see.
13. Needlepoint.
14. Cooking.
15. 1000 piece puzzles.
16. Learn to play chess.
17. Take dance lessons.
18. Fishing.

The local community centers and senior centers have many low cost classes. For about $25 you can get an introduction to a whole new craft, skill, or activity. Through adventure and experimentation you may find a whole new outlet for your individuality and buried creativity. The diamond in the rough in this case is you.

Comments

[Squirrelers]

How about blogging on personal finance as a low cost hobby:)

[kt]

this is a problem that is singular to women. I have never heard of a guy who likes shopping. Our vices are drooling over cars and gadgets that have shinny buttons(i am thinking of the nexus 1 and the macbook pro here). Fortunately this not a vice that you can indulge in all the time without the risk of living in a cardboard box in the next few years. They should have a shopaholics anonymous group for the addicted ladies :)

[Jetgirl]

While I would not say that "shopping" is a vice of my husband's, he certainly spends proportionally more than me every month. When not at work, he is in the garage doing something. We spend a lot of money on various tools every month. I don't begrudge him - he uses them. And if he finds that the project he needed it for is over, he resells. However, if we were to cut the tools out of his life, it would be cutting the projects that he loves out of his life, too. So we budget for it. Sometimes I'm mean (I do the finances), but we just have to wait until we save for it.

[Matt]

Wifes best friend was a shop-a-holic. Clinical depression, looking for self worth, whatever you want to call it, part of her downfall in her marriage. She is now divorced,has a job, can't afford what she previously did in buying clothes she did not need for herself or her kids. She now shops at the salvation army and has to watch every penny. Quite a change and in some case for the better.

Kind of makes me think about people who go to casino's knowing that the odds are stacked against them. Similar maybe.

[kjaxx]

People like kt above may find the word shopping synonymous with "mall" and "clothing" and therefore "female," but the verb "to shop" just means to examine some good or service with the intent of purchasing it. It doesn't matter what is being purchased (cars, computers, video games, books, craft supplies, clothes.) It's still shopping. I know plenty of guys with large DVD or video game collections the cost of which would rival some women's closets.

A hobby is fine and one that requires more time than money sounds great, but it doesn't address the underlying reasons for why a person shops. Without addressing those reasons, a "shopper" will still easily find ways to spend just as much money on the new hobby.

[Stephan]

I might be in the minority here but I basically only shop when i need something. Your point about the mall being a social event is dead on though. Its a cheap(if not shopping) way to spend an evening with friends. But, if you know you have a problem, its probably the last place you should spend your friday night at.