Are Your Acquaintances Helping or Hurting Your Finances?

For those of you new to Free Money Finance, I post on The Bible and Money every Sunday. Here's why.

Here's an interesting verse from Proverbs 13:20:

He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.

Let me put a personal finance spin on this:

He who associates with and listens to those who are doing well financially becomes wealthy. But someone who follows the advice of those who can't handle their money is destined for the poor house.

Ok, so I'm not a wordsmith (but you already knew that, didn't you?), but you get the idea. If you hang around people who follow the solid financial principles that can make you wealthy, then it's likely those principles will rub off on you and you'll do well too. But if you associate with people who continually make bad money mistakes, you'll probably do the same -- and thus kill your finances.

I'm not talking about having only friends who have it all together financially. But I am saying that it's wise to have friends, on average, who are doing fairly well or at least making good financial choices. And I'm not saying the friends have to be experts on everything. But I learn something from almost all of my friends -- how to save money from one, how to manage retirement from another, how to network for another, and so on.

If I spent most of my time with people who shopped for enjoyment, I'd probably want to do the same. If my friends spent every penny they had on "stuff" to fill up their houses, I'd probably follow suit. And if my friends all had boats and cottages, it probably wouldn't be long before I needed one (or both) too.
Let's face it, you're influenced by who you hang out with. So who do you want influencing you?

I once heard a speaker say that the person you'll be in five years will be determined by the people you know and the books you read. So choose your friends (and your books) wisely!!!

Comments

[Matt]

Agreed. You are a part of the company you keep.

An example I see is the average balance on a credit card is just for talking reason is $6k. I have none. I talk to friends about this stat and none of my friends have balances except for one and she would not admit it tottaly. So if I have no balance on the CC and 5 of my friends have none does that mean someone out there or a group of them have a total of $36K.?

Probably and they probably all hang out together thinking of the next iRippoff that you just can't live without or some other doo dad to buy.

[Sunil from The Extra Money Blog]

you become what you think....

[frodo]

I used to have a lot of friends who weren't as smart as me financially. They were good friends, but didn't know how to handle money. I dumped them and called the losers. Now they are all on welfare and I'm rich.

[Jan Cetwinski]

So True!!!

Even more important than whether your friends are wealthy or not, is that they are at least heading in the right direction. And that is often determined more by their attitude toward money than an other single issue.

JC

[MBTN]

If you follow good financial principles, and you do the right thing with your money, then what does it matter if your friends don't? If you are true to your principles and you know that what you are doing is correct, then your friends should have no influence over you.

I have a very good friend who is a smoker. He has smoked since he was a teenager. I spent a lot of time with him (not so much now since he lives out of state), and in all that time I never once even thought about taking up smoking. Should I not be friends with him because somehow his smoking habit is going to "rub off" on me? Of course not! I feel strongly that smoking is a terrible habit for so many reasons that no amount of contact with him will cause me to engage in that habit.

[Apex]

@MBTN,

You apparently already had a strong opinion formed on smoking or good influences to make you not want to do it.

Ask anyone who smokes how they got started and they will all tell you peer pressure. I do not know of a single person who started smoking for any reason other than their friends did and if they didn't they wouldn't fit in.

Not everyone will fall victim to the habits of their friends but many will. And even if you don't become them, some of their habits will likely wear off on you a little bit. If they blow money like crazy and you want to hang with them and they regularly go places and blow money, how exactly do you hang with them if you go with them but never participate in what they are doing. And even if you could pull that off, how is that fun?

You are often judged by the company you keep. And for good reason, most people are who they hang around with. Guilt by association doesn't work in a court of law. But in public opinion and practicality, it works pretty well. Not fool proof but a good enough rule to be wise about who you choose to associate yourself with.

I think this post is about as spot on as any the word smith has written. :)

[Arimack]

I often find I recieve and give finicial advice to friends and family. My wife hates that I talk about money with family and friends but I think that discussion and advice are part and parcel of what you are talking about. Not bragging about how frugal we are, but discussing major purchases with friends, talking about the best place to purchase major items, debating BJs vs Sam's vs Costco, all are discussed within my circle of family and friends. Heck, it is a lot like your blog. What we discuss in these comments is what I discuss with my friends. A blog is just a guided conversation after all(and thanks for guiding us so well FMF!)
Peer pressure still works when you are a middle aged adult just like when you were a kid. If your friends are talking about the new car the lease every other year, then you will start thinking that is normal acceptable behavior. If your friends are talking about their 10 year old vehicle and asking when it is finicially best to buy its replacement, then that is what you will consider normal and accpetable.

[Apex]

@Arimack

You nailed. What you are exposed to regularly is what you begin to understand as normal.

[Apex]

@Arimack,

it, I left it what you nailed, namely it. :)

[MBTN]

I do hear what you are saying. Peer pressure can be a powerful force. I think there are some areas where peer pressure might be able to exert itself on me, but there are other things that I feel so strongly about that it wouldn't get to me. For me, smoking is one of those things where no amount of peer pressure is going to sway me. Each person probably has their own areas of weakness so I suppose if the peer pressure were exerted in that area, it would have an effect.

I don't know FMF other than from his online persona. However, he comes across as the type of person who has very strong convictions about how to be successful financially. Therefore, I doubt that a couple friends with boats are going to sway him!