Five Numbers You Need to Know Before You Get Married

Yahoo lists five numbers you need to know about your potential/future spouse before you get married as follows:

• Credit score. A score of 700 or more [is good.]
• Risk Quotient. A money personality [test from] Rutgers University.
• Net Worth
• Savings Rate
• Emergency Money

My take on these:

• Looks like a GREAT list to me.


• I think even if someone "scored poorly" on this list, that a potential spouse could be ok with it as long as the other was making strides to correct past behavior. But someone with poor performance who didn't care and showed no signs of changing would be a huge red flag IMO.


• I didn't know any of these about my wife before we got married (I'm not sure I knew most of them about myself before we got married!) But I lucked out and my wife was better on all of them than I was.


• Do people really look for this information prior to marriage? If they're thinking straight they do. But doesn't the lovey-dovey romance stuff often make people forget the practicalities prior to marriage?

How about you? Did you know these about your spouse before you got married? Or if you're not yet married, are you planning on finding these out ahead of time?

Comments

[Matt]

I didn't know or look at these before marriage. But then again that was 21 years ago.

If you are young these may not tell you alot because some may not have enough of a history.

If you are older then these may have more validity and will tell alot about the person.

[Elle]

We did look at all of those numbers, but we did discuss finances while dating and getting engaged. We talked about our debts, income, and whatever savings we had at the time. We also sat down and chatted in more detail about our money habits. We had a good idea of our spending and savings habits, but we found it good to know why/how we developed them.

I admit it was awkward to discover I had much more debt than my husband, but it was necessary to lay all the cards on the table.

[Nicole]

I didn't for my first marriage, I did for my second. Different money habits were a huge source of conflict in my first marriage. I was not going to make that mistake again. I am in a much better place now.

[indio]

I wish I had known enough to look at these numbers when I was married. Older and wiser now, but it took me a long time to financially recover. It's true that love is blind. I can't afford to make the same mistake twice.

[No Debt MBA]

My SO and I found out each other's credit scores when we applied for a mortgage together.

I'd say that talking about financial goals would also be really important before getting married. It's an important conversation to have and it can easy you into talking about numbers which some people are reluctant to do.

[Sarah]

My husband was paying down some old debt, and when we got engaged we ended up moving in together. We took that time period to work out a schedule to pay off the debt (it wasn't tons) and work out a plan so that he would be debt free before the wedding.

His credit score wasn't great because of the past, however when we combined accounts we combined a credit card (I added him on to one of mine) and his credit jumped a lot higher.

I'm not sure about the money personality test - do you really need someone to take a test to know how they deal with money? Money was a discussion we were very open about. We are both frugal by nature, but he was disorganized so sometimes got hit by fees - when we combined everything I just continued organizing it.

[Rae]

Not married, but my S.O. and I are very open about our finances, and know everything but the Rutger’s quiz score for each other. I can’t imagine getting married not knowing at least the last three on the list, and likely a ballpark Transunion-type credit score. (We know exact [slightly oudated] from when we applied for a mortgage together, although we didn’t end up buying the house)

Luckily for me, he is much more money conscious than I am. I’m the one with debt to pay off (well, aside from student loans, which we both have)

[KT]

I just sent my boyfriend the article! However, we openly talk about finances and our plans for the future. The posts in this blog are often the starting points for our conversations!

[kjaxx]

No, we didn't discuss these, but we were young enough (20 and 21) that there wouldn't have been a lot to see. I knew I grew up with a more frugal mindset than he did and had more in savings than he did. I also knew that I had a credit card I paid in full each month and he did not have one. I knew his only debt was car payments. He actually turned control of his complete financial life (what little there was) over to me before we were married while he was going through military basic training and subsequent job training.

I still tend to be more frugal minded than him, which is one reason I do most of the hands on finances.

[AH]

I'm a newlywed and while we didn't know each other's exact financials while we were dating, we certainly had a general sense of where the other was. Once we became engaged, we shared more specifics. Fortunately, neither of us had CC debt, both of us had a decent emergency fund, and my husband paid off his student and car loans prior to marriage. My only debt was a reasonable mortgage, and we are trying to eliminate by selling the place.

[Jenna]

With finances playing a major factor in marital tension, I agree that this is really important to discuss with your SO at least on a basic level.

Although I don't know exact account balances for my boyfriend (and neither of us have taken a risk test), we know each others' habits and roughly where we fall in most of the above. We're both pretty frugal, and we don't have any credit card debt. Since we moved in together, we talk openly about our joint house budget. If we do combine finances at some point, I know that we would have no problem sharing all the gritty details with each other, and working together to plan for our future. Then again, I have a degree in finance, so I can't help but talk about this stuff, but I appreciate that he's on board, too!

[Mary]

My husband and I did talk about most of these things prior to marriage. I have to admit, it was pretty awkward, for me at least, since I was the one with student loans, a car loan, etc. But in the end, I am so happy that we discussed it. We had a goal for me to be completely debt free prior to our wedding (since my husbands was already, and always has been, debt free) and it feels good to have accomplished that goal!

I have plenty of friends who did not talk finances AT ALL before getting married and I think it's bound to cause some tension.

[mysticaltyger]

I broke up with my boyfriend because he was not willing to disclose all his financial details (net worth, etc) even though I was willing to do so with mine. He had issues with intimacy more generally, so the lack of financial intimacy was only one aspect of it.

[MattJ]

I decided against proposing to and eventually broke off a relationship with the only woman I ever nearly proposed to partially because she was very flakey about money, spending relatively large sums on frivolous things while carrying a fairly large credit card balance.

I don't imagine I would require any of those five numbers from a potential spouse - I just need to know she's responsible with money.

[Kylie Ofiu]

We didn't check out anything really before we got married. We did discover a big mark against my husbands name meaning he couldn't borrow money, but it was because his identity was stolen, so got it sorted.

Neither of us thought too much about it. I had lived on my own for a few years and did all the budgeting etc... He still lived at home and in his culture you give your money to your parents, so he figured he would just leave it to me when we got married.

We got married with no debt and no money issues between each other.

I think I got really lucky.