Five Retirement Surprises

The following is a guest post from Marie at Family Money Values.

You've no doubt read a lot of Free Money Finance's advice on planning for retirement – and hopefully are implementing those parts of it that make sense in your lives.  Sometimes it helps to hear the story of those that have gone before you so today I share a few of our retirement experiences. I'm 62 and I've been retired for 1 1/2 years.  Hubby is also 62 and has been retired for 4 years. 

As I was preparing to join my spouse in retirement, I eagerly read everything I could on the subject.  I wanted to know what it is like to be retired.  What do people do, how do they feel, what changes happen in their lives and marriages, how does their money hold up and did their planning actually work for them?

Although I found a lot of material on planning and preparing for retirement, I didn't find much on actually being in retirement.   To help all of you future retiree's out there, here are 5 surprises I have found in retirement and some suggestions for you on each. 

I now know why there wasn't much material from people already retired – retirees are super busy!

Surprise #1:  Retirees are too busy to talk about being retired.

While I was working, in those scarce moments when I had time to reflect on it, I pictured my retirement as being one long unscheduled vacation – during which I had all the time in the world to do anything I wanted to do. 

In reality, I am busier now than while I worked at a salaried job, and so is hubby.  We are each actualizing dreams that we had for years. 

He loves to work outside, but was stuck in an office job for 30+ years.  For the past 4 years he has pursued a vision of how he wants our acreage to look and works towards it every day.  He is more active and healthy than ever. 

I have always enjoyed learning new things, doing research and writing.  Since my retirement, I have developed 3 websites – designing and implementing them as well as writing content for them.  It is such a thrill to see my work published and to hope that it is helping someone else out in the cyber world.  I've also implemented a 'Grandma Money Camp' for my two grandchildren – a week each year to make sure they learn good personal finance hygiene.

Retirement prep action item:  Be realistic in the goals you hope to achieve in retirement – make sure you plan out how you want to spend your time to get the maximum benefit for YOU.

Surprise # 2:  Your marriage doesn't have to suffer during retirement.

Some of the retirement planning reading I did prior to taking the plunge indicated that marriages could be terribly stressed when two people - not used to hanging around each other all the time - are suddenly together 24/7. 

I was pretty worried about this one.  He's a morning person.  I'm not.  He has some pretty strong opinions with which I don't always agree.  I am more detail oriented than he.  I like to travel more than he does.  We both like time to ourselves.  Plus, he was used to being home by himself – having been retired already for a couple of years while I continued to work.

To handle this, we talked about it before I retired.  It helps that he likes to work outside and I spend a lot of time inside.  We both try to give each other time and space alone.  We don't go everywhere together.  If one wants to watch a favorite program on TV that the other hates, then the other does something else for awhile.  We accommodate each other.  We've also grown to know one another better.  Each morning we sip coffee together and philosophize about how things were, are and should be.

Retirement prep action item:  Talk to your spouse and other people in your household prior to retirement.  Discuss how you envision the day going and figure out what you all need to do to adjust to the new situation.  Don't forget to consider how other people's expectations of you might change.

Surprise #3:  It helps to keep a routine.

Most folks hate the work week routine.  Get up, shut off that alarm, grab a cup of coffee, get the kids to school, out the door to work and then home again.  Who would think you would want a routine in retirement?  I was really surprised to find that I did.

Routines help me get things done.  I knew that I wanted to continue my morning routine of exercise post retirement.  After all, I've been doing it with good consistency for more than 30 years and have stayed pretty healthy.  Now that I'm finally on my own, I have even more incentive to stay healthy!  Routines help me get through the boring stuff – like dusting, flossing and grocery shopping – and yes exercising.

Retirement prep action item:  Plan to match your retirement goals with the routine(s) that will help you achieve them.

Surprise #4:  A simple retirement can bring contentment.

Most of us dream of travel to unseen and exotic locations, living more luxuriously and satisfying new desires in our retirement.  I have found that I am content to keep most of my current possessions; to travel only occasionally; to stay home most of the week; and to spend time enjoying what I do have.  Simple pleasures, like drinking a single glass of red wine at dusk while I watch the sun set through our wooded hills, are satisfying.  I don't need (or want) to move to Florida, buy a new house, travel overseas or spend a lot of money to be content.

Retirement prep action item: Consider what kind of retirement will bring you the most pleasure and satisfaction and plan for that.  If your wants and needs are simple, you may be able to retire earlier than you think.  If they aren't, plan for the retirement you want.

Surprise #5:  You don't have to miss the paycheck.

Prior to retirement I earned more than 90% of folks in the US.  I really thought we would miss that paycheck.  The reason we don't is the result of years of work, effort and planning. 

Hubby stuck with his office job for 30+ years.  It wasn't very exciting and it didn't pay in the top 10% - but it had a golden pension – which we now enjoy. 

We have always lived off his salary and invested mine, even when my salary amount overtook his.  We lived within his means and invested the rest. 

We have always kept our debt under control.  We have never paid one penny in credit card interest.  We've been car loan free for 20+ years and mortgage free since 1993.

Before I retired, I spent two years doing what if scenarios and keeping spreadsheets and charts to ensure that we would be able to have the retirement we wanted financially.  We socked away two years of my salary into very liquid investments so we wouldn't have to dip into investments for years.

So today, we live off his pension check, interest and dividends.  We have a huge liquid position to do the things we want to do in the next few years before we start drawing Social Security at normal retirement age and taking required minimum distributions at 70 ½.  We don't miss my salary.

Retirement prep action item: Save NOW for retirement.  Understand what your desired retirement will cost and chart a path to generate the income to support it.  Those who fail to plan, plan to fail!

Does my experience surprise you?  How do you envision your retirement?

Comments

[Christa]

Very interesting. My grandmother is of the busier-now-post-retirement lifestyle as well. I hope to save for retirement likd she did so I can enjoy mine as well.

[Rick Francis]

Marie,

Thank you for a great post- I really enjoyed hearing from someone that has prepared well for retirement- I hope to make use of your insights in about 20 years.

-Rick Francis

[Matt]

I knew #1 would not be a surpize. My father and mother said it may of times.

The others are very good food for thought.

Thanx

[Marie at Familymoneyvalues]

Thanks for posting this FMF!

[Hank]

Marie, you don't find contentment like what you talked about equals a level of boredom?

[World of Finance]

Congrats on all of these: "We have never paid one penny in credit card interest. We've been car loan free for 20+ years and mortgage free since 1993." Planning like you said is what made all this possible!

I also have never paid credit card interest and don't have car loan. :)

Congrats again. Nice article.

[Marie at FamilyMoneyValues]

@Christa What kind of activities is your Grandma into?

@Rick - 20 years - you are planning ahead!

@Matt - are your Mom and Dad retired?

@Hank - Not at all - but then I am easily amused!

@WOF - Woot for us both!!

[Old Limey]

I retired in 1992, a year before my wife and used that year to get lots of things done around the house, such as painting the inside. I really liked it when she retired a year later because we have always enjoyed each other's company from the day we first met as kids when I was 15 and she was 16.

I have my room that I like to call, "My office" but it's just the room where I have my computer, an Elliptical, a TV, sofa, and a wall unit where I can keep all of my books and memorabilia picked up on vacations to Nepal, Bali, Africa, China, Peru, Turkey, Europe etc. I also have two large handwoven Tibetan rugs that I cherish and some framed diplomas.

My wife has a similar room which I like to call "Grandma's room" because it contains all of her memorabilia and loads of pictures of the three kids at various stages in their lives, but she has no need for a computer.

It works out well to each have a room to personalize just the way you like it and to spend some private time doing whatever you like to do on your own.

Over the last couple of years we have started a ritual of watching a Netflix movie every afternoon and it has become something that we don't like to forgo for anyone, we also never answer the phone while we are "at the movies". We also gave up entertaining some years ago and never have overnight guests - we just enjoy being by ourselves.

The real highpoint of our day starts at 8pm when we sit down to dinner. My wife is a fabulous cook and works her magic in the kitchen. I move a small folding table and a couple of chairs into the family room in front of the TV and fire (if needed), then lay it up with our crystal wineglasses, two candlesticks, and all of the plates and cutlery etc., open the wine, then at about 5 min to 8, she sits down and I bring everything in, light the candles, and we decide what to watch while we eat. Having a DVR is very nice when there isn't much on TV. BTW I take care of all the cleanup.

Even though we both loved our work, retirement is an order of magnitude better, it's incredibly stress free and happy when you don't have money issues and spend it with your best friend, however I wouldn't have wanted to retire any earlier than we did, 58 for me and 59 for her. We started our foreign travel as soon as we could leave the kids and continued it every year thru 2010. Our Bucket List is now empty so we have finally become old homebodies.

[SB @ One Cent At A Time]

Mary great article. I am a planner and remained debt free so far

[Marty]

Great post, looking to retire in a few years and this helps me out. Thanks

[Eric]

You make great points there. I never want to "retire" in the traditional sense. I want to eventually stop working for someone else and just work because I love it. That helps with a lot of the issues you bring up on its own.

[Brucein Portsmouth]

Nice story but how many folks just live on the husbands paycheck and the wife gets to invest her check for retirement. Most folks need two incomes today to get by and retirement can be hard at any age. Taxes are going to kill us and the tax breaks given are for the people living in poverty. My savings for retirement have actually hurt us. I'll support the poor in my city with my taxes until I become one of them.

[Marie at FamilyMoneyValues]

@ Old Limey - Thanks for the very interesting story. I'm glad you are both enjoying life in retirement!

@SB - You will do well.

@Marty - That is great news, I was hoping someone would find the info useful!

@Eric - point number one addresses just working for the fun of it. We all need a purpose - something to work towards and measure ourselves against - whether it is paid or unpaid!

@Penny - Actually I'm more impressed by what I am now reading on many, many of everyone's financial blogs. People in their teens, twenties and thirties are doing much more than I did at that same age.

@Bruce - Agreed - eventually you can crawl up out of the situation - if you both are able to keep increasing your incomes without increasing your standard of living. Taxes suck - even though they serve a purpse (roads, law enforcement, public safety and the like) - things have gotten out of hand when our elected officials have spent our tax money before we even earn it - especially on programs that reward entitlement.

[Holly]

Very interesting article...It's refreshing to hear about a successful retirement plan rather than the "we're 65 and won't be able to retire for another 5-10 years due to the crummy economy" story.

You had the willpower and foresight to manage your finances successfully from the beginning -- your story should be a lesson plan for all of us.

[Money and Matrimony]

You are soo right! I think this is the first article I have read that talked about actually being in retirement instead of working towards retirement. Thank you for writing it!

Point number 2 really stuck out to me. Many of us know that money fights and other money related problems are a big cause of frustration and fights in many marriages.

But, aside from the potential money issues, having to adjust and learn how to live with each other in retirement could cause it's own issues. Neither of you are used to the other ALWAYS being there. Being gentle, sensitive and honest about your needs is important.

Great post!

[Michele]

I was just wondering- my husband & I built & own a very sucessful business- 13 years now & are planning on retiring early- in our late 40's with the sale of our business & our 2nd home. I am a home body & he is one that always has to be doing something all the time- since we are together 24/7 we know we can make our way to a happy early retirement. I was just wondering where to put all of our money. That is our big handup. He is an investor & I like more safe ventures, CDs', bonds, etc. Did you have any of this become an issue with your husband during your "planning" phase?