For those of you new to Free Money Finance, I post on The Bible and Money every Sunday. Here's why.
I don't know about you, but the recent Reader Profile by FMF reader JL hit a nerve for me. You can read the whole post if you like, but the part that made an impact on me was that she and her husband saved their whole lives for retirement and just as they were ready to enjoy it, he died. It was a sobering reminder that life often does not go how we plan it.
It was also a reminder for me to enjoy life while living it. It's something that I struggle with as a fairly good saver and someone who is focused on a "good" retirement. It's easy for me to save and save and save and be so focused on 20 years from now that I forget to enjoy the 20 years of living!
Though not exactly right for this situation, Luke 9:25 regularly pops up to me and reinforces the notion that life is not all about accumulating as much as we can. It says:
And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but are yourself lost or destroyed?
A paraphrase of this might be, "What good is it to gain great wealth and not enjoy life in the meantime."
As such, I have resolved to stop and smell the roses a bit. We are taking more family vacations, I have revised my thinking on when to be frugal and when not to be, and, most importantly, I have become better at simply enjoying life as it comes.
It's still a struggle much of the time, but when all is said and done, I don't want to have a few million in the bank and yet have wasted 50 years getting it. Yes, I want a good, fully-funded retirement, but I also want to take time and smell the roses along the way.
I worry about this exact issue a lot. I'm a pretty aggressive saver myself, but it would be a fair criticism to say that I save too much and that I might not be enjoying life as much as I should be.
I haven't found the exact point of balance yet, but it's something that I'm working on.
Posted by: My Financial Independence Journey | January 20, 2013 at 07:12 AM
So far I have no regrets. I have been there all I can for my wife and kids and they never felt deprived. I never worked UnGodly hours of overtime and we never skimped on taking a vacation. My wife is more frugal than I am but that is a blessing. This September my wife and I will start a new chapeter in our book of life of being college empty nesters. We have worked all our lives to make our kids the most independent they could be and now it is time for the last son to test the waters.
My misistry of being a full time father has been a success.
My blessings of savings will provide what I need in the future and it is hard concept to accept when you say "God will provide"
Posted by: Matt | January 20, 2013 at 07:51 AM
I too was really touched by JL's profile. I try to create a life that is not living for retirement, the next job, the next bonus, or even the weekend, but it is hard.
Right now we are focused on something you have talked a lot about, and that is getting to a level of semi-retirment so we are excited about our current life and not waiting for the next big thing. Today that looks like saving a lot, and focusing on our careers, but also not taking jobs that require working 80 hours a week but pay a lot more. As we continue to save, maybe we will make additional shifts, although we are only in our 30s now so it's hard to imagine making too big of shift.
A corollary to what was mentioned in JLs story that I think about a lot as a parent is balancing spending time our kids now why they are young vs early retirement. I would hate to have my husband and I both work 60-80 hours a week now so we can save as much as possible and then retire as we become empty nesters. It's hard to find balance.
Posted by: NoTrustFund | January 20, 2013 at 10:30 AM
Great post FMF; very genuine and authentic. The balance you speak of is what I have dedicated my whole life to studying. I have only met a handful of people in my life who intentionally prepared well for retirement but also enjoyed life to its fullest while simultaneously helping and nurturing others along the way as well. It is possible but man that is a tall order!!! It’s hard to preach “saving and investing” on other people when they think to themselves, “well he/she doesn’t have any fun with what they saved anyways so what is the point”. It has been a journey for me to learn and demonstrate that behavior to my circle of influence. Cheers to you FMF for stopping to smell the roses along the way!!!
Posted by: Nate | January 20, 2013 at 01:45 PM
You don't know what to expect out of life. There has to be a balance. You should be able to save money, but enjoy life while your here on earth.
Posted by: Bridget | January 20, 2013 at 07:34 PM
The balance of living today while also saving for tomorrow my biggest struggle. Sometimes I feel like we aren't saving enough, but on the other hand I want to experience and do with my son and husband now, not 25+ years from now. It's especially hard when "retirement" is so far away still.
Posted by: KJ | January 20, 2013 at 09:06 PM
Very well said FMF and Nate. I believe Zig Ziglar said it best when he said “I believe that being successful means having a balance of success stories across the many areas of your life. You can’t truly be considered successful in your business life if your home life is in shambles”. Same can be said in one’s financial life. You can save all the money in the world, but don’t get to enjoy it when you think you are ready. I too have decided to spend the remainder of my life living a balanced life. JL profile though was eye opening just reiterated what I had always known about saving, retirement and life. “Life is the journey and not the destination”. What memories are you building along the way? What will your future be like? I believe answering some of these questions along with having “balance” in mind will help a lot of people live a better, brighter and fuller life.
Posted by: BJ | January 21, 2013 at 07:44 AM
I spend less, not more, so I can enjoy life while living it. I should reach FI by 45 because of heavy saving. One of my largest expenses is travel with family, 'cause I do want to enjoy life before 45 as well.
99% of the people I hear saying "you can't take it with you" are doing it while buying something they can't take with them...99% of the people who say "you have to live (enjoy) life" are saying it while indebting them to more required hours of work in their finite life for something that gives them little/brief pleasure...99% of the people who say "its only money" never say "its only stuff"...
If I sit on my death bed tomorrow, I will regret not telling my wife I love her more often, I'm gonna regret not building more confidence/self-love in my children, I'm even gonna regret not saying something nice to that one person having a really bad day that I might not even know. I'm not gonna be crying about driving a 12 year old camry instead of a new BMW my whole life...
Posted by: Strick | January 21, 2013 at 11:06 AM