Eight Opening Lines to Network Like a Pro

We've talked about the fact that your career is your most important financial asset. If you really want to grow it (and your income), and you should, networking is a key skill you'll need to develop. But mixing it up with others can be awkward, especially for those of us who aren't great at small talk.

Luckily, I stumbled upon some help. Fox Business lists eight opening lines to network like a pro. Here they are with my comments on each:

“I just tried a slider from the buffet table, and I think I’m going to grab another. Care to join me?”

I hate that this one is first because it sounds cheesy to me. I don't like/use it personally.

“I was just on LinkedIn and saw that we went to the same college.” Or … “I saw on LinkedIn that you also worked with so-and-so!”

Love, love, love this one! Finding something in common (church, running, books, schools, etc.) with someone else goes a looooong way to establishing a good (and easy) connection.

“How long have you been a member of this organization?”

Not bad. I also use "how long have you worked there?" and so forth once I find out a bit more about them.

“I read your book!” Or … “I was really impressed by the speech you gave at an event last year.”

As you might imagine, people love this one. I've used it a time or two and have had it used on me too. It works.

“What do you love about your job?”

This sounds like an interview question to me. Skip.

“I’ve worked here for several months, but I’ve never been to the penthouse floor before. Great views!”

This is the sort of small talk that kills me.

“Are you from [insert locale]?”

Any sort of question about the person, where they work, where they live, etc. is good in my book. People love to talk about themselves.

“Did you see all the wacky stuff they’re giving away at the sponsor tables?”

And he responds, "I'm a sponsor and resent you calling my stuff wacky." Skip.

Personally, I think if you just like people and are curious about them, you'll do fine. Ask all sorts of questions about them (not too personal) and once you hit on a common connection, and then go with it. This generally works with all but the least cooperative partners.

How about you? What do you think of these suggestions? Do you have any of your own?

Comments

[Ivy]

I actually didn't like the LinkedIn one, it sounds slightly creepy, somebody researching me in order to have a conversation with me. The "prep" makes it artificial, makes you seem to be trying too hard.

Otherwise, I agree that getting people to talk about themselves is the way to go. I usually start chatting about the event and their connection to it or their thoughts on what was presented - using this as a common connection and then taking something they mention and using it to move to the small talk part

[Andy]

This is why I suck at networking/small talk:
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"Personally, I think if you just like people and are curious about them, you'll do fine"
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I like people OK, but I'm not that curious about them.

[M9]

***Personally, I think if you just like people and are curious about them, you'll do fine.***

THAT is the money quote. Charm, curiosity, interest in others...all these things can be learned and improved. It is the lazy mind that thinks "oh, well, s/he is just naturally good with xxxx." "I'm bad with names" as if everybody else should just accept that you don't respect them enough to put a bit of effort into recalling their name. "I'm not that curious about people", oh well, the rest of us will just have to work around it.

A little effort goes a long way, to remember people's names, remember a little something about them, finding out what YOU might do for THEM, etc. Conversation is truly a 'lost art', and there is a strong trend in recent decades for a narcissistic outlook, especially with younger people. There is a reason for it, social media, advertising, entertainment, a world full of screens talking directly to you (even while you are pumping gas!), beautiful people on billboards inviting you to stare...

The problems and frustration happen quickly for people when they take that behavior into the real world ("I suck at networking/small talk"). Forget somebody's name even though you have been introduced 2,3,4 times? Stare at a stranger? Don't return a call or e? Use your cellphone in a public place? Declare an opinion, and expect it to be respected, let alone valued, unless it is something the other person has inquired about?

SMALL TALK HAS VALUE, not for the subject but for the ability to interact and make the other person feel interesting/valued/connected. People want to know what they are dealing with before committing to spending their valuable time talking with another. The weather, traffic, business climate, etc. are perfectly acceptable subjects, and the people easily bored by this are taking the subjects at face value ("it's boring! This event is boring! The people are boring!"). Wrong. This is your tryout with the other person, to see if YOU have something of value to THEM.

[M9]

Another thought, here. I have seen people show up at school reunions, and haven't spent 20 minutes going through the yearbooks. It is very clear they haven't even thought about the people they spent four years with, maybe on the same team, same classes, same bus. They are spending an evening (or day) of their lives traveling and attending this event, but haven't spent 30 minutes to improve the experience for themselves (never mind the other people they are 'reuniting' with). And it is cringe-worthy when they rapidly introduce their agenda "I'm in the insurance game." "I specialize in family law, keep it in mind." SMALL TALK allows a re/connection first; give the other party the respect to at least appear that they have some value (as a classmate, family member, colleague) other than a mark/prospect.

If you are going to spend a couple of hours at a professional meeting, and more time traveling, why wouldn't you spend 10 minutes reviewing the business cards collected and making a couple of notes about the people you met? That way when you go to the next meeting, you can spend another 10 minutes reviewing those notes, and not having all those moments "I'm sorry, what was your name again? I'm bad with names. Haha." "Where do you work? Oh that's right, you did tell me that before." Preparation is not 'cheating' or 'insincere', it is smart work making the networking opportunity efficient. It is a waste of the other party's time, as well as yours, to make them unnecessarily repeat themselves, and TIME HAS VALUE TO THEM, as well as you. These networking moments cut both ways, too; unfavorably impress someone with poor social skills or inattentive listening, and you are off their list and will never know it.