Bonfire of the Vanities #120

Welcome to this week's edition of the Bonfire of the Vanities. I'm so excited to be the host as this is one of my favorite blog carnivals. Why? Where else can you make fun of what people have written and they won't get mad at you -- after all, they submitted it for the BONFIRE!!!!

For those of you who regularly read the Bonfire of the Vanities, I will apologize in advance. You see, I'm a personal finance blogger. I write about saving money, increasing your income, planning for retirement and things like that. Those are the things I like and know something about. On the other hand, I don't know much about poetry, creative writing, humor, and so on. As such, this is likely going to be one of the blandest Bonfire of the Vanities posts ever. There will be no haiku, no craftily written political innuendo, and no humorous commentary with colorful language (at least on purpose, that is). Please forgive me in advance for that. If you really hate it, maybe I'll submit it to the next Bonfire of the Vanities. ;-)

Per my usual carnival policy, I'm listing the posts in the order that I received them. There's a clear benefit to being listed early in a post, and I do this to encourage people to get their entries in early. (No, it doesn't really work, but I keep trying.)

However, this time I'm adding a slight revision. There are a couple of entries that were submitted that had no reason why they should be in the Bonfire -- and to tell you the truth, they were SO BAD, I couldn't even tell what they were saying. Instead of leaving these entries out of the Bonfire, I've added them at the end.

Also, for fun, I'm listing each author's reason for submitting the post to the Bonfire (for those that submitted one). I thought it added an extra bit of creativity to the post (and God knows I need all the help I can get!!)

Finally, I MUST say that there are some crappy posts out there! Holy moly!! I'm surprised anyone reads blogs after seeing any of these. Sheeeesh!!!

But enough rambling from me -- you came here for the Bonfire, so let's get it started!

Stupid Ideas for Saving Money

I am so pleased to list a fellow personal finance blogger as the first entry this week! Yes, we are a punctual lot. Unfortunately in his post on "creative" money saving ideas, I think he's mocking me -- making fun of my money saving tips I post here often. But never mind, I like his tips -- especially "eat one meal a day". Check out this tongue-in-cheek personal finance post and get some great ways to save money. Yeah, right.

Author's reason for submitting: Trying not to take all this financial blogging too seriously...

Enough of Miers

Will someone please stop the insanity!! I am soooooooooo tired of reading posts on, for, against, about, and whatever else dealing with Supreme Court Nominee Harriet Miers. Get a life people -- move on to another topic!!! (It's for this same reason that I'm dreading the bird flu -- not that it could kill millions, but that bloggers will be talking about it for decades!!!) Anyway, our next piece agrees with me -- we both have Miers Overload.

Author's reason for submitting: Just tired of talking about Miers...wanted to talk about something else.

Office Politics Gone Bad

Oh, yes. I can relate. You ever had one of those times when office politics went against you? This next blogger did and details it in I Lost This Round. Too bad this post needs to go into the Bonfire!!!

Author's reason for submitting: Yes, it's me again moaning about my coworkers and office politics. There's nothing that can compare to making a mountain out of a molehill. I just never learn to let it go, do I?

Eating Bugs

If there's any post that deserves to go into the Bonfire and burn, burn, burn, it's one about eating bugs. But who knew that someone even wrote about such a topic? Well, we know now as Microlivestock? is served up to us bugs and all. All I can say is that if this post is an indication of what's on this blog, the blogger may want to change its tagline to "insanely interesting insights into my BORING life."

Author's reason for submitting: It was National Chocolate Covered Insects Day and that was the most interesting thing I could think of to post.  Besides, who really wants to read about eating insects?

Men are Better Shoppers

Why should this entry go into the Bonfire? In I Resent This, the blogger simply talks about a well-known fact: men are better shoppers than women. Is this news to anyone? Hasn't it been proven over and over again? Sheesh! Next someone's going to submit "Pepsi is a soft drink" to the Bonfire of the Vanities.

Author's reason for submitting: The tag line to my blog is, Right Wing Extremism with Impeccable Fashion Sense. I pride myself, not only on my political savvy, but also my shopping ability. I had to post it. It just made me soooo angry. But now, it being on my blog is making me sooo angry.

Bonfire Ballad

I'm a big music lover, so I totally resisted this post as part of the Bonfire. But Jeremy the Loner has his reasons, so I'll let it through. (But how can anyone that loves music be a loser?)

Carnival of the Cockroaches?

Ok, now I've heard of everything. Supposedly, there's a "new" carnival -- a Carnival of the Cockroaches. Do you think the bug eating post from above is close enough to make it into this carnival? Oh, yeah, there's a Carnival of Feminists, too. Not sure if it being announced along with the cockroaches is symbolic in some sense or not.

Author's reason for submitting: This has to be the most bizare Submit Form update ever.

Four Bad Words

Here are four words that should never be used in the same post: Harriet, Miers, garterbelt, stockings. I need to say no more. Check out A Two Dogs Take on Harriet Miers if you have a strong stomach.

White Riot

Not with a ten foot pole. Not with a twenty foot pole. I'm not touching this one -- other than to throw it in the big Bonfire. If you're brave enough, see Whites Riot At Racist Black Nazi Rally In D.C.

Author's reason for submitting: Satire or social commentary, you make the call.

Wild Speculation

Nothing fuels a bonfire like wild blogger speculation, and Anger: Wild Speculation is certainly that. In fact, it's so speculative I don't have a clue what the heck he's talking about. Perfect fodder for the fire.

Author's reason for submitting: Never send to know for whom the black helicopters fly; they fly for thee. (Does this make any sense either?)

Butt Entry

This is certainly a first for me -- a picture of...well, I can't describe it. I try to keep this blog family-friendly. Visit Mock Kos Day - continued! to see for yourself.

Author's reason for submitting: You'll see why this belongs in the Bonfire...if you dare... muahahahahahahaha!!!

Special Cat

Some people just have sick minds. Then they become bloggers. Then they write something like this. Then they title it something like "Once upon a time, I dreamed of a girlfriend with this gift...". Sick-o. Bonfire kindling for sure!

Moving Mock

Just when you think you've seen it all, something like this comes along. First, this post is about cleaning out kids' rooms. Suitable enough for the Bonfire. Then, the author tells me that she has a new blog but she hasn't moved the entry over to it. Is she trying to get TWO entries into the fire? Ok, I'll give it to her. Here goes.

Author's reason for submitting: OH crap! Here is a link but it's to my OLD blog now. I have moved to new domain.

Moore Oil

Here's a post that's actually kinda cute. Other than the picture of Michael Moore, that is. For that infraction alone, Bush Opens Up Michael Moore's Strategic Oil Reserves deserves the Bonfire.

Puppy for the Fire

Maybe I'm just dense. Maybe it's too early in the morning. Maybe it's just because I haven't had my Diet Coke yet. But I just don't get it. WHAT THE SAM TUCKER IS THIS ENTRY TALKING ABOUT? Someone, please wake me up. See Gorsh, a Killer Puppy No Less.

Author's reason for submitting: I'm just very glad that my dear sweet daughters aren't quite old enough to read yet. This one will definitely need burning in a few years... so why not do it now?

Laughing while You're Burning

When the author posted Nine Things that Made Me Laugh this Week, I'm assuming he thought at least some of it would be funny. Do I think it's funny? Not so much. And I thought I was bad at comedy.

Am I Missing Something?

Is this really a post? Do people actually "blog" this sort of stuff? The only thing I can understand about this entry is the title: She's Got a Point. After that, I'm lost. (FYI, I think it's funny that a reader thought the same thing. He commented: "What is the story behind this post?")

Author's reason for submitting: She might have, but mine is unclear.

Name for the Fire

Have an hour or so? Then you have plenty of time to read half of this post. Ok, it's not that long, but it does go on and on and on and on about how he selected his posting name. Does anyone really care? Does it take the War and Peace of blog entries to explain this? See Why Ubu, Redoux and judge for yourself.

Author's reason for submitting: What better subject for a vanity post than one's own self?  In fact, it was so much fun, I posted it twice!  (Actually, it's because I switched blogging software.)

Crap for the Fire

The title of this submission should be "This Post is Full of Crap!" Instead, it's titled Piper Gets Farked -- but it still is full of crap. BTW, what is it about cats and puppies that bring out the worst posts?

Falcon Fire

A post about the Atlanta Falcons deserves the Bonfire even if I knew nothing else about it. But in Respect the Schaub, the author goes on to talk about how great the Falcons backup quarterback is. And he has the nerve to put Peyton Manning in the post!!!! I'm including this post in the Bonfire simply because there's not a Carnival of Does It Look Like I Care?

Author's reason for submitting: I don't think the post itself is too bad, but it's worth being bonfired -- I spent 1250 words extolling an NFL backup quarterback.  That can't be a good sign.

More Cockroaches

Ok, maybe it is real. Is it? Or is it a joke? Anyway, I don't know if a whole carnival has ever made the bonfire on its own -- and especially before it's been launched -- but if one deserves the fire, it's the Carnival of the Cockroaches.

Author's reason for submitting: Just what everybody needs, another Blog Carnival.  But, jeez - these little guys are so damn cute!

What's Next?

The Origins Of Make-up? What's next? The origin of toothpaste? The origin of fingernail clippers? The origin of diaper rash? Barbie -- yes. Mensa -- not so much.

Author's reason for submitting: The multi-billion dollar ritual of make-up may have its origin in the medicinal, but it's still a superficial Art. This was my attempt to lend credence to the superficiality of using make-up...

Lame for More Than One Reason

1. Post stinks: More crap psychology.
2. The deadline is MIDNIGHT Mr. 12:32 am.
3. Weak author reason for being in the Bonfire.
4. I'm too tired to like anything.

Author's reason for submitting: John Ray pulls apart more psychological "research" which claims conservatives are a bad lot.

Weak Links

Here are the weak links this week. I have no idea what these are about. You can judge for yourself whether I'm just stupid or they're too lame:

• MRE'S, Ice, Water
• Today's Mood

Thanks for visiting the Bonfire of the Vanities! If you want to know a bit more about Free Money Finance, take this quick tour of the blog I wrote when FMF was recognized by Business Week.

Comments

[Chicken Little]

Great issue!

Haloscan wouldn't send through a trackback, but should have.
http://chickenfriedlife.blogspot.com/2005/10/naked-toes-in-bed-and-bonfire.html

[Gray]

Nicely done. Thanks.

[Elisson]

I'm having the same problem with Haloscan. Are they pissed off at Typepad or something?

Anyway, I've posted a link to this fine Bonfire at:
http://elisson1.blogspot.com/2005/10/bonfire-of-vanities-120.html

[mensa barbie]

Wizbang's....Bonfire of the Vanities #120
Hosted by: Free Money Finance
---------
You were judgmentally quick and clever, which always equates to sound financial practices.
Good work ;)
-Mensa B

ps: It's actually a new Haloscan script to combat malicious comment posting. (gone bad)

[Hazzard]

I'd never tease a fellow PF blogger. It just wouldn't happen......... :)
Hazzard
http://elym.blogspot.com

[Sinner]

Add the Wizbang trackback pinger to the Haloscan blocking problem...

[firstbrokenangel]

"MRE'S, ICE, WATER" is not a lame excuse. I've been a benefacfor of the Red Cross twice and it's one thing they don't put in the package. Since I have Chrons/Colitis, I always wonder why they don't add toilet paper as part of the package. So it was a simple question to a serious problem; we all use it, need it and just asked why they don't supply it. Not lame and not lazy; just a subject that needs an answer.

[FMF]

Firstbrokenangel --

Here's the point:

"I have no idea what these are about."

If you would have taken 10 seconds to write an explanation about why it was submitted to the Bonfire (like you're supposed to and like most others did), it would have been posted anyway.

Besides, this is the BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES. The post is supposed to be lame.

FMF